Love, just a four letter word
by lilylou101
Summary: The story guides Lily Evans and her friends through her 6th and 7th year. L/J HIATUS!
1. first day back

_Lily and James:_

_Chapter1: first day back_

_Hey. Let me introduce myself. My name is Lily Elizabeth Evans, I am 16 years old, I am muggle born, from London, go to school in Hogwarts, a boarding school for witches and wizards, I am a prefect, my best friends are Alice Prewett and Nessa Collins, I am a rather good student, some people might describe me as a nerd, which I really don't get, and today was my first day back at school, after, what seemed like months, long summer holidays. I couldn't wait to see Alice and Ness again. I couldn't wait to see Amos Diggory again, yes, I know, he is a hot Quidditch player and rather popular and probably doesn't know I exist, but, oh well. _

"_Lily, honey, we're there." My mum's sad voice shook me out of my daydream. She didn't like leaving me alone in school, not seeing me until Christmas holidays again. Unlike Petunia, my older sister. She had to accompany me here, dad said. She was not at all very happy, I was a witch. She looked at me with disgust as I got out of the car of my dad and she followed me. I walked on the platform at kings cross, pulling my luggage behind me and peeking over the heads of all the muggle wayfarers , to see Alice or Ness. In between platform 9 and 10 I started saying goodbye to my parents._

"_Bye daddy, I'll miss you." I gave him a hug and he sniffled a quick "bye" back. Then my mum wrapped her arms around me._

"_Oh sweetie I'll miss you so much. Take good care of yourself now, okay? Do your best in school and have fun, okay? And remember, don't use bad language, don't swear... Oh, we'll miss you so much."_

"_Mum, relax, I'll see you at Christmas again, don't worry." I laughed. My mum wasn't good with farewells. _

"_OK, relax. Sorry honey, you know I get all sentimental with goodbyes. Petunia, dear, come here and say goodbye to your sister." She walked over unwillingly and murmured something hardly understandable, when I checked my watch, which said, 10:50. _

"_Oh, mum I have to go now, really. I'll see you guys in a few weeks. Bye." I ran towards column 9 and instead of a crush, landed safely on platform 9 ¾ . I walked onto the train and went into an empty compartment. _

"_LILY!!" I stepped out and stood face to face with my BFFAA( best friend for ever and always, I know, so lame, but, oh well.)Alice. _

"_ALICE!!" We both squealed a bit and embraced us in a big hug. I hadn't seen her for 12 weeks-12 weeks! _

"_Oh, Alice, I've missed you. What did you do in the summer? Oh, come on, let's sit."_

_We sat down in our compartment and talked and a few minutes later, when the Express started driving, Nessa joined us and the same scene started all over again. We chatted and gossiped and acted like girly brats with all our paddy whack , but it was so fun. Bout 2 hours later Frank Longbottom, Alice's longtime boyfriend arrived, and so did the lunch cart. The four of us stuffed our faces, until I felt like I was about to puke. I was so tired after a while, that I couldn't make conversation anymore, and instead mustered my friends, who were also lying there, half asleep. Alice had brown wavy hair reaching her shoulders, and she was a bit chubby, mostly in her face, but it made her have those cute laughter lines when she smiled. She had been my best friend since the first day of Hogwarts._

_I looked over at Nessa. She had dark-brown till black hair, straight, standing up wildly in all directions sometimes(like now), she had dark blue eyes and a nice tan. We had been friends since 2__nd__ year, she did have quite a temper, which had caused me pain a lot of times, when I didn't agree with her. Just as I was about to drift away into sleep, someone knocked on our compartment door. Damn whoever it was. I groaned and sat up._

"_What?!" I asked annoyed, and saw Amos Diggory standing there. Damn. I sat up straight and fixed my fiery red, curly hair, trying to look cool. _

"_Erm…Lily Evans? Professor McGonnagal wants to see you because of a prefect meeting." He looked at me expectantly. And you really thought he wanted something from you, didn't you Lily? I got up, smiled and walked past him. Dang it. Why did he have to be so wonderful? I looked at the floor, depressed._

_Oh, no, Lily, you are not depressed, stop thinking that. Look at the bright side, he knows your name, right? That did lighten me up a bit and totally absent-minded, I walked into something. At first I thought it was a wall, but then I looked up and saw beautiful hazel eyes staring down at me. Those eyes belonged to James Potter. My fellow prefect. Who had completely ignored me last year. Or, well, not ignored, he just hadn't noticed me._

"_I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, are you alright?" He looked at me concerned. Wait, James Potter looked concerned?? I thought he never cared about anyone else but himself. _

"_I'm fine, thanks."_

"_Lily, right? Lily Evans?" Wow, James Potter knew my name. I mean, I'm not one of his fan club members, but he is quite popular, so it means something if he knows my name. Wow. Amos Diggory and James Potter._

"_Yeah."_

"_You're a prefect?" Wow, mister obvious, that is just so clever of you, seeing as my golden prefect badge is hanging on my clothes right in front of you and we've been working together for a year, yes, very bright of you indeed._

"_Yes." I sounded a little harsh, but he deserved it. I mean, I know there were older prefects back in 5__th__ year, he had known some from Quidditch, but I hadn't thought it possible then, that he wouldn't even notice me at all._

"_I never noticed you last year." Oh you notice that now, do you? _

"_I'm James Potter. __" Yeah, like you need to tell me, everyone knows who you are. Don't need to bribe in you're popular._

"_I know." I do know my fellow prefect, mister. Unlike you. I'm turning into a bit of a moaning Minnie here, aren't I?_

"_Shall we walk to McGonnagal's compartment together?"_

"_Sure." He smiled at me. We walked along the hall in the train and reached the compartment in no time. Professor McGonnagal was already there along with the 8 prefects from 5__th__ year and a few others._

"_Mr. Potter, Ms. Evans, nice of you to pleasant us with your company." McGonnagal said with her strict voice. We were later than I had thought._

"_I'm sorry, the message only just reached me." I tried to talk myself out of this. She didn't answer, but just nodded her head to two free seats, so we could sit. The rest of the evening was rather boring. We talked about all the rules and so on and I didn't really listen. After what seemed like hours-maybe it were- she told us to get our trunks and get changed, the train would stop in a good few minutes._

"_Finally." I muttered more to myself, as she let us go._

"_Didn't like it?" Someone was walking right beside me all of a sudden. James Potter._

"_Not exactly." I murmured again._

"_I didn't think it was too bad. The food was nice." He said._

_I laughed. It was so ironic, that Lily Evans, perfect little straight-a student didn't like something that contained schoolwork, and James Potter, arrogant, bigheaded trouble-maker actually enjoyed it._

"_What's so funny?" He sounded curious and a little upset that he couldn't laugh at my silent joke. _

"_It's just so funny. I never would have thought, you would actually enjoy some school meetings. I mean it's you, James Potter!" Now he laughed too. We walked back silently._

_I stopped at my compartment door._

"_See ya, Lily." I nodded and then walked in. To my surprise, everyone stared at me._

"_What?!"_

"_How was it?" Alice asked._

"_What?" Now Nessa cut in._

"_You're date with Potter." Ok, what? That was so no date._

"_That was so no date!" Why, thank you brain for delivering that message, I think that sounded convincing enough._

"_Of course it was, he walked you back here!" Nessa was getting inpatient._

"_It was a prefect meeting, ye dumb ass." I was getting quite angry myself now. Ok, calm down, Lils. Calm down._

_She looked upset. Both Nessa and Alice. Frank didn't seem to care much, he was eating pumpkin pie. _

_I didn't respond , and sent Frank out, so we could change. After a few more minutes, the train stopped and we stepped out into the chilly September wind. All the way to Hogwarts, I didn't talk to Alice or Ness. It was dumb, I know, but they were supposed to feel guilty; don't worry, I was gonna talk to them by tomorrow morning again, I just wanted them to take back what they said. _

_In the entrance hall, just before McGonnagal was gonna lead us into the great hall, Nessa did do that. So did Alice. I was glad, because I hated not talking to them._

_In the great hall we sat down in a corner, Alice and I. Frank was with his mates and Nessa with her Quidditch team. She was Chaser. Nessa was rather popular, she had a group of friends, I was not popular. To be honest, Alice and Nessa were my best and only friends. And Frank too. It's not like I'm not nice or anything, no one just seems to notice me, like James. _

_I am a very inconspicuous person. _

_Dumbledore held his speech, and I didn't really listen( what was it with me and the listening lately?), at one part though, I lightened up a bit._

"…_we decided together, there is going to be an annual Christmas ball from this year on. It will be on the evening of your last day of school. Head boy and girl will arrange everything. That's that. We will move on to Quidditch…" I stopped paying attention again. A Christmas ball. I didn't know, if I was supposed to be happy or sad. The Christmas ball would be a great thing, and maybe Amos Diggory would ask me out(probably only in my dreams, but, oh well.)but if I didn't get a date, well, that would pretty much suck. _

_Alice was talking to me, talking all kind of crap that I wasn't in the mood to listen to right now. Later on there was the sorting and then we ate and then we all went up to our dorms. I was extremely tired. In no time I fell asleep._


	2. fun breakfasts

**heres chapter number 2.**

**read and enjoy.  
**

_Chapter2:fun breakfasts _

_The next morning Alice' scream woke me up._

"_Alice?! Alice, are you okay? Alice!" I tried to scramble out of my bed, which led me to fall out of my bed and bump my head pretty hard._

"_Alice?" I got up, just to see Alice stand there with a top or something in her hand, yelling her head out. Nessa was standing beside her, now trying to get that top out of her hand._

"_Alice, for the love of great god, would you stop bloody SCREAMING??!!" She had woken me up, that meant pay-back._

"_What is going on?! You'll wake up the whole bloody castle!!"_

"_Lils, I thought you're mum made a rule for you not to swear."_

_Oh, Nessa, I am so going to kill you!!_

"_That is beside the bloo… point. That's beside the point. Why the hell…why are you screaming?!" It was harder than I thought, not to swear, when I was angry._

"_Nessa took my blouse without asking." _

"_But I asked you yesterday! And you said yes! I can tell you you're exact words: "You can take whatever you want as long as I get it back." Yep. That was what you said."_

_The next half hour, I had to play psychologist and listen to their "problems" and tell them who's right and who's wrong._

_Then I got dressed and left for breakfast. Without them, as they had started fighting, the second I had walked out the door, meaning my psychological help hadn't helped at all._

_In the great hall, there weren't many people there yet, most of them came at bout 7.15(including myself, usually.)but as I have mentioned it was f*** early,(6.45, F.Y.I.) and I was one of the first one's to be down here. So was Dumbledore. I felt uncomfortable sitting on my usual seat, because it was quite near to him._

_So I went as far to the door as possible, sitting right at the edge. I took a croissant and ate in silent. Then, I heard someone sit down beside me. I was about to get up and apologize for sitting on their seat, when I saw who it was. James Potter, who else._

"_Morning, Lily." He remembered my name, yippieh yay! _

"_Morning. You're up quite early." I tried to make conversation, I hated uncomfortable silences._

"_So are you." He grinned._

"_Yeah, well, Alice and Ness wouldn't stop fighting, so it was either this, or listening to their screams in my sleep." He laughed again._

"_Why are you up so early?" _

"_I am always up so early, I'm used to it, as I get up at 5 every Saturday and Sunday to practice Quidditch." I was astounded for a moment; 5 am. Oh sweet lord, did this boy ever get some sleep?_

"_What's wrong?"_

"_How do you get any sleep at all? I mean, you and you're friends party every weekend until 4 and then you get up an hour later. That is just not possible!" he chuckled and drank his pumpkin juice._

"_I wouldn't say we party until 4. maybe half 3." He laughed at his not so funny joke. I kept stern._

"_No, seriously, we don't stay up that late. 2 am. Maybe."_

_In my opinion, that is still late. Well, I am a nerd so…_

"_What's your first class today?"_

"_Potions."_

"_Mine too. We can walk there together."_

"_Erm…sure. Why not?" students were filing in now, the place got more crowded._

_I felt gratuitous, when James' friends arrived._

"_Oi, Prongs." I heard Sirius' voice and then, he was standing behind James already. Remus and…Peter, I think, yeah, were walking up behind him._

_They sat down beside him._

"_Hello… em…" Sirius looked at James, inquiring._

"_I'm Lily Evans." I held out my hand. He just laughed at me, but took it anyway._

"_Sirius Black." He grinned. Why did they always do that. Everyone knew who they were. They even knew Peter, just because he hangs out with them. James introduced the other two, even though I knew them too. _

_Sirius was playing with his food, hexing Remus' food, so that rolls would taste like hot chilly sauce, making him spit his food directly into Peters face once, making tears come up in his eyes, which just made me go into hysterics, to see a teenage boy cry over something like that. I hadn't had such fun for a long time._

_On my way to Potions with James, I was still laughing._

_Which made him laugh at my laughing, which made me laugh even more, which caused us both to go into hysterics once more. _

_Professor Slughorn partnered us two up, to work on a potion together. We were still giggling quietly in class. I was surprised by how good he was in Potions. At the end of the class we all got marked on our potion and we got "outstanding"- ah thank you very much__ ._

_The next few days it was pretty much like that. I ate breakfast with the marauders every morning, Alice and Ness joined us soon, and went to classes with James. We would hang out in the lunch breaks and in the afternoons I would hang out with Alice and Ness. Remus often accompanied me to the library and Sirius taught me a lot of hexes and jinxes in the afternoons, I wouldn't have dreamed of ever doing._

_It was the beginning of November when the Christmassy feeling set in. there were fairy lights and every thing hanging around, there were already Christmas trees. It was snowing outside too. Ooh, I couldn't wait to go out later. It was a Saturday, and it was 7am. I was beginning to become a morning person. In the great hall, there were again not many people there. I sat next to James and started eating my breakfast._

"_I thought you start training at 5." _

"_No, usually I practice on my own then. Official training starts at 10 at the weekends. Today, I decided not to go out at 5, coz it's bloody freezing." I took a bite of my toast and almost screamed. I spit it out and wanted to drink something, just to see that my goblet was empty. I took James' without thinking and drank everything in one sip. It got better. Man that was hot. And spicy._

"_Someone seems thirsty." James laughed at me._

"_Well, yeah, that was fucking hot!" I snapped back out of rage._

"_Why is toast so hot anyway? I mean, it's suppo…" I trailed off, as I saw the smirk on his face and a mischief twinkle in his eyes._

"_Oh, no you didn't." He laughed again. I could not believe, he had jinxed my food!_

"_You jerk. You prat. You asshole. You…" _

" _I just want to remind you that Dumbledore is sitting there staring right at you." I stopped slapping him and swearing. Oh, damn. I gave him a glare. This was all his fault. To punish him, I stole him his own sandwich, which was really fancy made. I took it in my hand and ran out with it._

"_Hey…hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey that's mine. Give that back to me right now!" I was in the entrance hall already and heard him run after me. I wrapped my cloak around me and ran out into the cold. He was right behind me now. I ran over to a tree and tried to hide behind it, but he already took me by the arm and threw me over his back in a playful matter. _

"_Okay, Miss Evans, either you give me back my delicious sandwich right now, or…" _

"_Or what?" I laughed, trying to sound threatening, but not succeeding._

"_Or I will drag you into a mistletoe, hex it, so that you can only come out by kissing someone, and god knows how long you'll stay in there then." He was still laughing, but tears were welling up in my eyes. He noticed me stiffen and let me down. As soon as he did, I threw him the sandwich in his hands and ran into the castle. Tears were running down my cheeks now. I tried to hide them, coz kids were coming down for breakfast now. In Griffindor common room I sat down in a corner and sobbed quietly. How dare he say, no one would want to kiss me. I know, I'm not popular and maybe not that pretty but… _

_he was probably right. No one would want to kiss me._

**ok, all a little dramatic, and i didnt really know, what to write with that mistletoe...**

**hope you liked it anyway:-)  
**


	3. new friends and Quidditch

**this may seem confusing at first, this chapter sets right after where the last one ended.**

**i didnt really like chapter 2, this ones better, i hope.**

**and please please please review. love u lots:-)  
**

_Chapter3:new friends and Quidditch _

"_Lily?" I heard a voice behind me._

"_Is that you?"_

_I turned around to see Sirius standing there. It was December and if anyone had told me in the summer, Sirius Black would be my friend, I would've laughed at them. And now, he actually knew my name. And was really sort of my friend._

_He walked towards me. I knew, he wasn't the best in comforting other people, not like Remus or…James. _

"_What'd he do now?" He seemed to know it was about James though._

_He sat beside me and motioned me to put my head on his shoulder. I did so and it helped a lot._

"_He told me, no one would ever want to kiss me."_

"_Wow, that's harsh. You sure he said that? Coz that doesn't sound like my mate." _

"_Well, he said he'd put me in a hexed mistletoe and see how long I would stay in there, probably very long."_

"_Why did he threaten you?"_

"_He wanted back his sandwich."_

"_Well, that explains it. Prongs is very greedy. He needs his food other why's he is so bitchy." I had to laugh._

"_Look, I don't think he meant it like that. Go talk to him." I nodded and made my way to leave, when I turned again._

"_Sirius?"_

"_Hm?"_

"_Thanks." _

"_Em…you're …welcome?" He looked dumbstruck which made me chuckle again._

_In the great hall I searched all over for him, and when I noticed, that Nessa wasn't sitting with Alice, I looked at the clock, and it was 10.15. He was at Quidditch practice. I went out into the freezing cold and stalked towards the Quidditch field. I could see Ness flying there and short after, I saw James. I sat down on a bench, I didn't want to interrupt his training._

_But as soon as he saw me, he flew down, called something to his team mates and walked over to me._

"_Lily! I'm so sorry, what I said earlier, I didn't mean it like that. You understood it completely wrong. When I don't get my food, I just get…kinda…"_

"_Bitchy." I finished off for him. He laughed, but then nodded._

"_Yeah."_

"_It's okay, don't even worry. Never mind." I just wanted to forget it right now._

"_Thanks. Hey, have you ever flown before?" I shook my head. And if he was planning on taking me on his broomstick, he could forget it. I was afraid of heights. He jumped on to his broomstick and pulled me to him._

"_Come on." He tried to pull me on, but I refused._

"_There is no way in hell I am getting on one of those things."_

"_Shh. You'll insult her." He pointed at his broomstick. I raised an eyebrow._

"_Oh, really?" _

"_Hm-mh. Now stop being a wimp and hop on." I shook my head._

"_Na-ah. I am scared of heights and I've never flown before in my life. I'll fall off."_

"_Aw, come on, Evans. You got me. So you don't have to be scared. And don't worry, I'll protect you." I slapped him, so his smirk would disappear, but it only got wider. And before I could refuse any longer, he wrapped both his arms around me and pulled me on. I let out a squeal. _

"_Let me down this instant! I'm warning you, Potter!"_

"_Are we back to the surnames now?" I kicked and punched his back, but a second later, I was sitting behind him on his damn broomstick. And then he was off. I wrapped my arms tightly around him and buried my face in his back. I didn't dare look. _

"_Having fun?" He asked._

"_Not really." I mumbled into his robes. He flew higher and twirled around, once I dared to open my eyes, and we were upside down. I screamed and closed my eyes instantly. Then, I heard a voice yelling behind us, but I didn't look up._

"_Oi, James, would ya stop playing around and start training!" It was Ness, I could hear, she was getting impatient. _

"_Sure thing. You guys start practicing, I'll be there in five." And to my relief, he flew down to the ground. I let my eyes closed for a good while, until I felt safe to open them. I actually felt a bit sick and dizzy. James was looking at me, laughing. I flushed a bright red._

"_Stop laughing."_

"_Was it really that bad?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Oh, come on."_

"_You were flying upside down, for heavens sake!" But the look of enjoyment on his face made me laugh, he looked like a 7-year old who had flown the first time in his life._

"_I know deep down you enjoyed it too, Lils." He ruffled up my hair before he left for his team._

"_Keep dreaming." I murmured to myself. I sat down on the bench and watched them all fly. _


	4. makeovers and dates

**chapter 4 is up. and please review. i feel like im talking to myself when i write this.:-)**

**when i wrote the first chapter, something with the updating went wrong, i noticed. so im gonna write this again.**

**Disclaimer: I , obviously, dont own harry potter, nor the characters. i made up a few too.**

**okay, so enjoy and REVIEW!!**

**thanks:-)  
**

_Chapter4: makeovers and dates_

_It was the 15. of December, and a Tuesday. I walked into my dorm, it was 6 so there would be dinner in about an hour. I heard giggling and whispering. _

"_What's up with the giggling?" I asked Ness as I walked in._

"_Oh, we're just so exited. Friday's the Christmas ball. We're choosing which dresses to ware. Aren't you exited too, Lil?"_

_I admitted, that I had forgotten completely about it. But now, that I remembered, I was a little exited. Alice would be going with Frank and Nessa with Anthony Creevey, a Quidditch player in Hufflepuff. I didn't have a date yet. Let's hope I get one._

"_Have you heard, if Amos is going with someone already?" I wanted to know, desperately. _

"_No, not yet. I do hope he asks you, Lily." Alice tried to encourage me._

"_Honestly, it's great of you guys to try and make me believe that, but let's face it, he really does not know I exist." I sat down on my bed, throwing my hands in the air in frustration._

"_Come on, Lils, even if he doesn't ask you…"_

"_Which he won't." I cut her off, but she ignored it._

"…_every other guy would be lucky to go with you. A lot of guys like you." Aha. Right. Name two._

"_Name two." I put her up to the challenge. Now she seemed to grow nervous. Caught ya red-handed Alice. Ha._

"_Well…that guy from Ravenclaw who has Care of Magical Creatures with you likes you." Oh, yeah._

"_You mean John Patil. The guy with the black hair frisiert like a mushroom. And I don't want to offend him or anything, as he is probably just as popular as I am, but his face is shaped like an enormous pumpkin." He really was very weird._

"_And, and there's Dylan Brown. He said hi to you once." I think, she didn't realize, how lame that sounded. But he was quite cool. He was also a Ravenclaw, somehow all the brainy geeks seem to "like" me. Although he was quite handsome and really nice too.(Note to self: I should stop insulting people.) Anyway, he had light brown hair, reaching his chin and bright blue eyes. He was always happy and optimistic. If Amos didn't ask me (which he, to 99.99 percent wont, and I most definitely wont ask him out myself,) I would ask out Dylan. I hoped, he wasn't taken yet. _

"_So, what are you guys going to wear?" I didn't want to keep talking about, how little guys know, let alone like me. Ness seemed glad, we changed the subject to something else too. She got out of bed excited and walked to her closet._

"_Well, I was either gonna wear this…" She got out a short black dress, tight at the top and a little skirt coming out at the bottom, with lots of frills and glitter. _

"…_with these…" she now got out a pair of black pumps._

"…_or…" she got out a second dress._

"…_this…" it was white and a bit longer than the other one, very plain but somehow beautiful. _

"…_with these…" she showed us a pair of silvery ballerinas._

"…_what you think?" She looked at us expectantly. _

"_I think the black dress is really cool, but the white one is much more beautiful and it'll make you look like an angel…with black hair, but forget bout that. It's much prettier." I said._

"_What d'you think, Alice?"_

" _Same as Lily. The white one."_

"_OK, so that's settled then." She put the black one back into her closet and sat on the bed beside me._

"_Alice, what're you wearing?" I asked._

"_This!" it seemed like she had been waiting for this question, coz she was smiling like an idiot bursting with happiness._

_She showed me a long, velvet dress, dark crimson red, with a beautiful décolleté and it grew wider at the bottom. It was the most gorgeous thing I had ever seen._

"_Alice…that's beautiful. Where did you get that?" I was still in awe._

"_My cousin Amelia works at Madame Malkin's and she designed this one herself. It was supposed to be for you, you know, to match your hair, but I just fell in love with it straight away." She looked at the dress, dreamily._

"_Frank's gonna have a lot of competition on Friday." Nessa said. I giggled._

"_You're not mad at me, are you?" Alice sounded anxious. She was always so worried, that she wasn't a good friend. It was really funny at times._

"_Course not. It's all yours. You're gonna look great, Al." _

_she grimaced, as I used her nickname, I had always called her that in 1__st__ year._

"_What are you gonna wear now, Lily?" _

"_Depends on if I get a date or not."_

"_Oh, would you ever stop being so pessimistic!" Nessa shot at me._

"_You're gonna get a darn date, alright?" I nodded, just to calm her down._

"_Come here for a sec, Lil." Alice pulled me up and dragged me to her closet. I groaned._

"_Ness's right. Stop being such a pessimist. But…I just thought of a way how to get you a date."_

"_How?" I wasn't very convinced. She rolled her eyes at my lack of faith in her. _

"_I'm gonna make you over. Just for today. The guys won't be able to take their eyes off of you once I'm done." That was a very bad idea. I am not gonna let her do that with me._

"_Just for dinner tonight. Please, Lily, please!" She looked at me with her puppy-dog face. Damn that adorable look that made me melt every time._

"_Fine." __I muttered and very unwillingly I went with her and let her make me up. After an hour, she announced, she was ready. I looked into the mirror, and was astounded._

_The skirt of my usual school uniform was much shorter now and had a few black bands hanging around it. I had a black vest over my blouse and my tie was loosened. I had lots of chains and bangles and black tights on. She had lent me her favorite pair of shoes; black ankle boots.(let me tell you, they did have quite the high heels.) my dark red, usually, curly hair was straightened. I had refused to put on as much make-up as she had wanted to. But she did it anyway and now I had pink lip gloss, rouge, which gave my pale skin a little color, mascara, eyeliner and eye shadow. Goodness, I hardly recognized myself. _

"_Oh, Alice, I don't feel too good about this. I mean, it's just dinner, nothing special, and everyone will be staring at me."_

"_That's the point. They're supposed to stare, drool, admire and ask out! So stop moaning and come on. Dinner's just started."_

_I was so nervous. Oh, no, I really did not want to do this. Alice literally pushed me down into the entrance hall. My face must've looked shocked because she got impatient and pushed me into the great hall too. First, no one noticed me. Then, when the 1__st__ kid, a first year, noticed me, he told his neighbor and so on, until everyone was staring at me. All the chattering stopped instantly and I blushed. The most embarrassing thing was, all the teachers were also staring at me, in disbelieve. I heard murmurs like "Who's that girl?" and "That's Lily Evans!"_

_And even a few wolf whistles. I almost ran to my seat, just having all the eyes in the room follow me, and then I practically buried my face into my food, trying to hide behind Alice and Ness. After, what, 10 humiliating minutes, they slowly started eating again._

_We didn't sit in our usual spot, beside James, Sirius, Remus, Peter and a few Quidditch players, but right at the back of Griffindor table. Alice was disappointed, clearly._

"_What are you doing?!" She whispered. _

"_You should sit in your usual place, with James and maybe a few hot Quidditch players would ask you out! Although, I have to praise you, that was quite a scene there. I wouldn't be surprised, if Dumbledore asked you out." _

"_Oh, ewe, Alice, how old is he, like, 100?! That's disgusting."_

"_And beside the point. I meant, Amos Diggory is so yours!" She looked very pleased about it. _

_I looked around the great hall and luckily, there weren't so many staring any more. I glanced over to where James sat and caught his eye. He looked at me inquiring and I just showed with my fingers on Alice, who was busy eating. He seemed to understand, coz he nodded and continued eating. A few guys at the Ravenclaw table were still looking at me, and when they realized, they'd been caught, they blushed and looked away._

_Hm. It was actually kinda nice to know, that guys blushed coz they were caught staring at you. With me, it was usually the other way around. I was so absent-minded in my daydreams, that Nessa had to slap me so I'd notice who was standing behind me. I shot her a death glare, for she had slapped me rather hard across the cheek, and was about to start swearing, when I saw who was standing there. Oh sweet lord in heaven. It was Amos Diggory. Aaahhhhhh. I blushed and put a loose strand of hair behind my ear._

"_Er…Amos…erm...how...are you?" I stumbled over my words._

"_I am very well. It's Lily, right?" __I nodded. __Once again every head seemed to turn to me, or in this case, us._

"_You don't happen to already have a date for the Christmas ball on Friday, do you?" I shook my head. I wasn't capable of speaking._

"_Well, in that case…" He looked me straight in the eyes now. Was he gonna do what I think he was doing?_

"…_would you like to go to the ball with me?" I was stunned._

_Oh my dear sweet loving, f*** god, Amos Diggory just asked me out. For real. And this is not a dream. I nodded again. He smiled and walked back to Hufflepuff table. I almost collapsed. Oh. My. God. Oh. My. Dear. God. Did this really happen?_

"_Lily." I looked at Alice. She had tears in her eyes. Oh my god, Alice had tears in her eyes!_

"_Oh my god, Alice are you okay?" I sounded anxious and was a bit loud and was therefore glad, the attention was no longer on me._

"_I'm just so happy for you, Lils. And so very proud of myself. Thanks to me, he asked you out!" Thanks to her? Does that mean, he only liked me for my looks? Now Nessa interrupted._

"_What Alice meant to say was, he finally opened his eyes and saw you for clear once." She turned to Alice and whispered, harshly:" be a bit sensitive, would you?" I slowly started eating again, but didn't say a word. I could still hardly believe it. He had asked me out. Wow._

**there you go.**

**hope you liked it. **


	5. weird warnings and more

**very weird title i think couldnt think of anything better:-(**

**short chapter**

**nothing really happens much, still enjoy and review:-)  
**

_Chapter 5: weird warnings and more_

_I was sitting outside on a tress, protected of the snow. I stared blankly into space, since Tuesday night I hadn't spoken a proper word with anyone. I just could not believe it. I still thought, this was one of my too realistic dreams, and I'd wake up any moment, and Amos would, once again, not know of my existence. _

"_Lils, would you snap out of it?" I looked up. Ups, I had totally forgotten, James was out here with me. He looked rather annoyed._

"_What?!" _

"_You gotta get over this boy." How should you get over Amos Diggory? He was the kindest, friendliest and nicest person ever! With his beautiful blue eyes and blond hair and…_

"_There she goes again." I heard James murmur to himself beside me. But before I could return into my reverie, suddenly, I was lying in the snow. I opened my eyes, and saw James lying on top of me. I looked around nervously, if anyone was there. Luckily, most were inside. I looked back up into his face and saw a smirk playing around his lips._

"_James?"_

"_Hm?"_

"_Would you please get off of me?" he grinned even wider, but rolled to the side and lay in the snow beside me._

"_It's bloody cold." I said, my teeth starting to clatter. _

"_Now, Lily, what did your mum say about swearing?" He shook his finger and imitated a cross mother which made me laugh and forget my shivers. _

"_Well, actually…wait how do you know about that?"_

"_Alice." He explained, simply. I laughed again and hit him In the sides._

"_No, but seriously, if you're cold, you can always cuddle up with me." He offered cheekily. _

"_Oh, I have a better idea." He turned to me interested. "How bout we just get out of the snow." We both had to laugh at our dumbness and he got up, offered me a hand and helped me up. He didn't let go of my hand, but crossed his fingers with mine. He pulled me with him into the castle. _

"_Who are you going with to the ball anyway?" I asked, I had totally forgotten about that, which was very rude._

"_Selena Abbott from Hufflepuff. She asked me out, and as I'm not really interested in anyone particularly, I said yes. She's quite nice. Better than those stuck-up bitches Sirius always dates." _

"_Oh like you never date stuck-up bitches!" I had not forgotten that awkward one time, when James and I had not yet been friends, in 5__th__ year, and I had sneaked out to the library one night( I know, I am such a bad girl__) and on my way back had heard some weird noises coming out of a broom closet, of course, as dumb as I was, had opened it, just to find James and a very pretty popular Ravenclaw(forgot her name, sorry.) in a very hot snogging session(F.Y.I., she had love bites everywhere- everywhere!- and his tie was untied and her shirt half undone, and till that day, I had never even thought that anyone in our year or even 6__th__ or 7__th__ year would do _that _!) turned out, she was a real bitch, honestly._

"_Of course I haven't!" James' answer pulled me out of my memories._

"_Have so!"_

"_Name one." Greatest example: My latest thought. Just what was her name again. Marla, Maya, Mandy, … erm…Melissa…Melanie, that was the one! Melanie…Tyler. Exactly._

„_Melanie Tyler, 6__th__ year Ravenclaw."_

"_I never went out with her!"_

"_Maybe not, but you two so had a thing in 5__th__ year!" I will never forget that._

"_What are you talking about?" I cocked up an eyebrow._

"_Oh, you mean that one night where we…oh. There was a girl who interrupted us and…oh. That was you. Now I'm catching on." He looked uncomfortable; and he should._

_But that didn't last long. He already smirked at me and let go of my hand. Hey! Why'd you do that? Now my hand is cold__._

"_Are you jealous?" You wish, Potter._

"_Yeah, right." We reached the castle and went into the warm._

"_What were you doing with her anyway?" I really didn't know, what he saw in her._

"_Yeah, not what you think we did." Oh no. this talk was gonna get uncomfortable, I could just see it coming._

"_She liked me…a lot back then…" Yeah, like who doesn't. Pft. _

"_I came back from Quidditch practice and she just pulled me into a broom closet and started kissing me." That does not sound convincing. I'm just saying._

"_She…opened her shirt and…my tie." He tried to reassure me._

"_And I guess, she also gave herself those, what, 50 love bites?" I joked. He loosened up after my joke. He realized, there was no longer any tension in the air._

"_no, I just get completely lost in hot kisses. And, yes, she might be an almighty bitch, but she's one heck of a kisser… No, Trust me, I'm not that kinda guy." He ruffled up my hair._

"_C'mon, let's go to the common room." We walked beside each other up the stairs. _

_As I walked through the portrait hole, I said bye to him._

"_Hey, I gotta go, see what I wear tomorrow. I'll see ya at dinner." I was just about to walk away, when he held me back._

"_Lils…how much are you really into Diggory?" A lot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

"_I dunno, why?"_

"_Just…don't take things to fast. I hear he's kinda a heart breaker."_

"_And that says, James Potter, heart breaker #1 in whole Hogwarts history. Not including Sirius, of course." He stayed put, though._

"_I'm serious, ok?"_

"_What, are you jealous now?" I tried to focus the conversation to something different._

"_No, just worried." He actually did look quite serious about this. I had to think this through._

"_Yeah, okay, well, I gotta go. See ya." I left and ran up the girls staircase. _

**not my best chapter but its okay, right?**

**I do hope you say yes, i'll be very upset if not:-) * doing puppydog face***

**hope you liked it anyway. gonna update more soon.  
**

**lilylou:-)  
**


	6. last ball preparations

**ok, so this chap started out to be the "ball" chapter, but my characters got caught up in their conversation:-)**

**so i made two chapters out of it, wouldve been to long otherwhys.**

**i'll update chapter7 straight after this one.**

**DISCLAIMER: dont own harry potter:-(  
**

_Chapter 6: last ball preparations. _

"_Alice, I'm not sure about this."_

"_Oh, would you shut up." Alice was already dressed for the ball, she looked absolutely stunning in her red dress, and she had put her brown hair up into a ponytail, a few loose strands hanging out at the front, and her make-up matched everything perfectly._

_Nessa was also nearly ready, she was doing hair and make-up._

_I was still trying to get into my dress. Not that it was too small or anything, it just didn't have a sipper. Alice' cousin had made this one too. It was also very nice. It was emerald green, the color of my eyes. It reached the floor and really brought out my figure. _

_It had golden sparkly, glittery crystals(as tiny as a raindrops Alice had said__) sewn into my dress around my thigh and down, where my legs were. I was wearing silver high heels and, if I say so myself, my outfit looked wonderful._

"_I don't like wearing too much make-up."_

"_It got Amos the last time, so stop whining and get a move on." She took strands of my hair and stuck them back. My make-up took half hour, and then she announced I was ready._

"_Wait, here, take my clutch." She gave me a silver clutch with glitter on it. I looked into the mirror, expecting to see a glittery green Christmas bauble, but to my surprise, it looked quite plain, and yet it stuck out. My make-up wasn't half as bad either. I had lip gloss, the color of my hair, quite a lot of mascara, but only a little eye shadow. It was no way to much, even if I had first thought, gray eye shadow would make me look emo. It didn't, of course._

"_Oh, Lily, you look absolutely gorgeous!" she clapped her hands once._

"_Oh, crap, its quarter to six, its starting in a few minutes. We don't want to be late, so come on." She took Nessa's and my hand and we strutted down into the common room. A lot of nervous Gryffindors were already standing there. Alice steered us to a group of teenage boys, standing in a corner. It were Frank(in a tux and tie, all the gentleman, although he looked a little bit boring.), Sirius(also in a tux, but much cooler, coz of the open jacket and loose tie.), Remus(he looked like Frank.), Peter(in a much too small tux and no fashion sense at all, I mean, Alice is the fashionist between us, but even I could tell, that a stripy red top with a too small jacket, and pants, so you can see you're green socks is not very pretty.) then James( in a tux, open jacket, loose tie, shirt a bit unbuttoned('I'm not that kinda guy', yeah right.)hair even messier than usual-yep, typical James.)Dennis Brown from the Quidditch team(more of a Frank than a Sirius look) and a few other guys I didn't know, also from the Quidditch team, probably, coz Nessa immediately started conversation with them(all though, maybe she was just flirting, as they were quite hot and she flirted with every boy that came her way). Alice let go of my hand and tapped Frank on the shoulder. As we had thought, he made big eyes and stared at her for quite a long time. He whispered something in her ear and she giggled. Then they kissed. Aw, how sweet, they're just so perfect for each other. The kiss was deepening now. Ewe, it's getting not that sweet anymore. Ewe, Alice just bit his lip. Oh, ewe I am most definitely looking away now. I managed to pull my eyes away from the snogging couple. Oh god, finally, the torture is over. I turned around, to see a smirking James Potter staring at me._

"_What were you doing there?" He asked me, amused. Oh I really hope, I didn't do anything stupid, as I was completely in my imaginary little world there._

"_What?"_

"_Em…eyeing Alice and Frank like they committed some kind of crime. It was like you were giving them a death glare."_

"_Oh, I was…ah just forget it." I didn't want to talk about this anymore. I was growing more and more nervous by the minute, especially when people started filing out of the room to meet their dates. Nessa walked past me and winked. She was leaving for Anthony, he was meeting her in the entrance hall. Frank and Alice left too. James looked at me._

"_You nervous?"_

"_Well, dah, what if he…what if Amos doesn't think I'm pretty or something?" I was beginning to sweat. I wiped my wet hand on my dress._

"_Lily, don't think that. You look beautiful." I blushed._

"_Thanks." I smiled at him. _

"_Come on, we should leave. Selena's meeting me in the entrance hall."_

"_Amos too." James looked around at the others, Remus was already gone with his date, Angelina McMillan , a very smart Griffindor._

_So Sirius walked on my one side and James on the other._

"_Sirius, who are you taking to the ball?" I remembered, I never even asked._

"_Penelope Stryder, very hot Hufflepuff. Blond hair, blue eyes, great ass…"_

"_Sirius, shut up." James interrupted._

"_No one wants to know anything about that woman's ass, alright?" Sirius chuckled._

"_Oh, really? Have you checked out your date, Selena's ass?"_

"_No, Padfoot, I don't check out every ass in the hallway."_

"_But almost, right? And she's your date, so you should check it out. Anyway, she's got an ass shaped like a pumpkin. Hideous." Now both of them were laughing. I decided to jump in._

"_Okay, I am right here and can hear every word your saying, and I'm a girl, I'm not supposed to hear stuff like that. So stop."_

"_Oh, come on, Lils." Sirius patted my back. "It's just so darn fun. Why should we stop." OK, I did not know how he had passed his Owls so good, he is dumber than a penguin. I just said why, didn't I?_

"_I just said why. Anyway you like talked about your dates ass and his dates ass, whose else's do you wanna talk about, mine?" He grinned. Oh no. I had just given him, in his mind, brilliant idea. Oooh no._

"_Well, that is an option." I glared at him._

"_That was sarcasm ye noodle."_

"_Sarcasm or not, it's one heck of an idea. Prongs, mate, what do you think about Lily's ass?" Before he could give an answer, I interrupted once again._

"_Okay, if you lads really want to talk about my ass…" Man that sentence sounded so wrong. "Then at least do it privately, without me standing right beside you."_

"_Oh, no, but see, that's the fun part. Prongs you may begin." Oh, I really didn't want to hear what he had to say. I tried to walk faster, but they both held me tight on my arms. I stared at the floor, my hair covering my blushed face._

"_Come on, Lily, I wont be too mean, trust me." He told me. But you could never trust James Potters smirk._

"_Ok, so I think…" Oh bummer, here it goes. "your ass is actually quite…" Hideous, enormous, fat, ugly…"sexy." pumkin shaped , gigantic…wait, you said what now? He chuckled._

"_What?" I just had to reassure myself._

_Sirius answered instead of James._

"_He said, he thinks your ass is sexy. And he's right. It really is. Very sexy, indeed." By now, we had reached the entrance hall. YES! thank god. Sirius smiled at me and whispered a "see you later" and then left for his date. I looked on my watch. 6.58. we were right on time._

_I saw Amos standing in a crowd of people. He saw me and tried to make his way to me._

"_Oh, Amos is coming over here, leave James, leave." He was making no attempt to. "James. Leave. Now." I was already whispering, because Amos was getting closer now._

"_I just wanted to remind you to be careful with him, okay? Remember, heartbreaker."_

"_Gosh, you sound like my dad." He was still standing there. "OK, I'll be careful or whatever just leave. Now. Quick. Leave. Go!" Amos was meters from me. Finally, James took a few steps back. "Have fun." He mouthed at me. I nodded and waved. "But not to much." He mouthed again and winked. I rolled my eyes noticeably in his direction. I mouthed "go" back._

_Now Amos was standing right in front of me. Before he could say much or me too, James said unnecessarily loud: " Remember, Lils, you got a sexy ass." He winked again. "Sexy ass." He repeated quieter this time. Then he left. Oh damn this boy to hell right now. This was so embarrassing. Amos looked confused._

"_Did he just say you got a sexy ass?" Oh, if James ruined my chance of dating Amos Diggory, I was so going to kill him._

"_Erm…yeah, but…its an insider joke. You wouldn't understand it. Erm…anyway…you look very…handsome…tonight." He actually looked very average. Just a tux. A Frank-like tux._

"_So do you." He held out his hand and I took it, gleefully. The day Lily Evans finally gets what she wants arrived._

_That sounded like out of some lame superhero movie. But oh, well._

**Ha ha, l.o.l. ha ha.**

**that chap was kinda stupid but i just had to write that down, its just so...ha ha.**

**okay so chapter 7 is up right away...**

**and also a huge thanks to clueless c for reviewing!**

**I almost cried out of joy, my very first review:-)**

**Okay thats all for now, lilylou:-P  
**


	7. the christmas ball

**so this is the real "ball" chapter:-)**

**Go on. read. and maybe take the time and review:-)  
**

_Chapter 7: the Christmas ball_

_Amos and I walked into the great hall, decorated very Christmassy. The 4 tables had been moved and instead, there were small tables, a little like when we had our Owls, just that the tables were decorated nicely. I could see Dumbledore standing at the front, whipping to the beat of the rather popular music. He was dressed all fancy too. All the couples sat down at their tables, the head boy- and girl were supposed to do the opening dance at 6, so it should start any second. Amos steered me to a table and we sat. He couldn't talk much, because Dumbledore already stood up and held his wand against his neck, a sec later his voice sounded through the hall. _

"_Boys…girls…Ladies and Gentlemen. I am thrilled to see everyone here at our annual Christmas ball. Our dear Head boy and Head girl will start their opening dance right away. I just want to wish you all a Merry Christmas… a very happy new year filled with all your fulfilling wishes and expectations, a year where we all hopefully learn more. I hope we will all be healthy throughout the new year and for now…I hope everyone has a marvelous time." He smiled warmly at all the students and took his wand down to, instead, swing it at the musicians so they'd start playing. I looked over to the doors of the hall and saw that Andromeda Tonks and Taylor Wood floated in. they danced for a few minutes, beautifully, may I say, and then held a little speech, and announced, that the ball had officially begun. The tables filled with food and I started eating immediately. Amos didn't say anything. I had almost finished my pumpkin pie and Butter bear and he still hadn't said anything. I slung down a muffin and more food, he didn't say a word. For heavens sake what was wrong with this boy?_

_I looked up at him, he actually had a tiny look of disgust in his eyes. Ok, so I eat quite a lot for a girl. I have a good appetite. But that does not mean I am fat. Seriously. I'm actually rather thin. _

_Amos still didn't say a word._

"_Er…do you wanna dance maybe?" I asked shyly. He looked up, as if he'd just realized I was there._

"_Em…sure. I just…gotta go to the loo, alright?" I nodded. He got up and left. Go to the loo, god, hadn't his mother taught him to go to the loo before you leave the house? Really._

_I got up too and walked around. I saw Alice and Frank dancing and Nessa and Anthony. They both looked like they were having a great time. I checked my watch, it was 7.30._

_Oh my gosh, I had been with Amos for half hour and he hadn't said a word. After 15 minutes he still hadn't returned from the bathroom. He's a boy, what can he be doing in there for so long? Oh, dang it, I totally forgot, he was probably looking for me. Ah, well, I was gonna leave the searching up to him, he hadn't made much of an effort tonight. I went into a corner and ate more pumpkin pie, it was more delicious than usual. I looked around the hall and suddenly noticed that, not too far away James was snogging Selena. That boy is wicked. He knows a girl for not even an hour and already snogs her. I laughed. I saw how he whispered something into her ear and she giggled. Some unknown feeling went through my body and for a short time, I was confused. Then he kissed her again, shorter this time, and they broke apart. I stopped watching them, when my pie was gone once again. I looked at the plate, there was only one more left. I went to grab for it, when a hand snatched it away. More food appeared magically, but no pie, but coconut muffins. Which sucks, coz I hate coconut. _

"_Hey!" I was mad at whoever took the pie, I need my food. I looked up and saw James. _

"_James. Give it here. " I sounded like a grumpy TV bitch. _

_He smirked and made an attempt to bite in to it. I stepped forwards and tried to rip it out of his hand, but he held it too high._

"_James…(I jumped up to try and reach it)give …*jump* … me … *jump* … my …*jump * … pie!" _

_But to late, he already bit into it. _

"_Jerk." I grumbled._

"_Sorry, I'm just too hungry." He said with food in his mouth._

"_Oh, would ye eat with ye mouth closed. You're a dumb-ass, I was hungry." He laughed, still with a stuffed mouth._

"_Having fun with Diggory?" He asked, after he'd swallowed. That reminded me. It was 7.45 and he still wasn't back._

"_Where is he?" James asked and took a coconut muffin._

"_Oh, you notice now, he's not with me?" I said, sarcastically. _

"_He said he went to the loo. It's been almost twenty minutes now. You're a guy, why is he in there so long?"_

"_Dunno." He was eating again._

"_Oh, James, stop eating, this is an emergency!"_

"_Emergency?" He gave me a skeptical look._

"_Eurgh, you're really no help. Go snog Selena some more, 'kay?"_

"_No need to get grumpy. I'll tell you if I see him." He was just about to walk away when Selena walked up to him._

"_Oh, hey Sel, I just wanted to leave for you." She looked at me. No, she glared at me._

"_What were you doing with her?" She made the "her" sound like a swear word. _

"_Just chit-chatting." James didn't suspect a thing, like that she thought we had done some more than just "chit-chatting". I think she thought that._

"_Oh, really?" He nodded, came closer to her and kissed her lips. She slung her arms around him and the kiss became passionate. Why was it, that today I had to watch snogging couples the whole time? The kiss still went on. James was such a kiss-waster. He had kissed like, every girl in the school. How many girlfriends had he had already? Like, 70? Sounds likely. I think, they didn't know I was there, it was like I was invisible. Still kissing, they went out the door and disappeared, probably to the gardens, where all the couples always go. I sat down and ate some more. After a very long time, someone tapped me on my shoulder. It was Amos._

"_Amos!" I jumped up. It was now 8.04._

"_Why were you on the loo for ¾ of an hour?" _

"_Yeah, sorry bout that. I came back and you weren't there, so I got some drinks for us and looked for you. I bumped into someone and spilled the butter bear all over me. I had to go change." _

"_Couldn't you have used a spell?" _

"_Erm…I thought I wanted to look even better for you in a …different tux." That didn't make no sense._

"_But isn't that exactly the sam…" Suddenly, his lips were on mine. I was shocked, but then gave into the kiss. He pulled me more into the corner and opened his mouth against mine. Isn't this going a little far too fast? I just wanna let you know, that I am not a normal nearly 17 year old teenager, as this is my first kiss. _

_His lips were hard on mine and he pressed his body against mine, obviously wanting more. I, therefore, also opened my mouth and let his tongue explore. After what seemed like forever, we broke apart, to catch some breath, but his lips were on mine again. Then, one moment, his lips were on mine and the other moment he was being pressed against the wall beside me. I was shocked. James was suddenly there and had pinned him against the wall. I looked around, but no one had noticed, there was only Selena standing there, annoyed, that she wasn't the center of attention for James anymore. When had he gotten here anyway?_

"_James!" I shrieked, as he pulled his fist back to punch Amos in the face. He stopped and looked at me._

"_What are you doing?!" I demanded, flabbergasted. _

_He took a few deep breaths before answering. _

"_Amos is a two-timer. He was snogging Emily Parkinson outside." You jerk!( I am speaking of James now)how dare he accuse Amos of doing such a thing!_

"_He did not! He had to change, because he spilled his juice on his tux" James laughed coldly at my response._

"_He could've just used his wand." I didn't know what to say to that so I turned to Amos instead. He was quite pale._

"_Amos, did you snog Emily Parkinson outside?"_

"_Of course not, Lily. I would never do such a thing!" He took a step towards me, but James threw him against the wall once again._

"_James!" I screamed. _

"_Stop it!" I took Amos by the hand and pulled him to me._

"_So you didn't do it?" _

"_Lily, what do you think? Of course not! I mean you and I are like almost together." Wow, that flattered me. Did he think of us like that? Yay!_

"_Really?" he nodded. I glanced over to James, who was shaking in anger. _

"_To make it official: Lily Evans, will you be my girlfriend?" He asked. Now it was my turn to nod. I was speechless. Amos smiled at me and James stormed over to Selena grabbing her wrists and pulling her into the oblivious crowd. Before I could think about that, we were snogging again. If James hadn't been such a problem, this would've been the best night of my life._

**that chapter was difficult to write, you know, not make james nor amos look too bad:-)**

**Hope u enjoyed.**

**lilylou  
**


	8. christmas letters

**chapter 8! YAY!**

**finally a little bit of drama in this one:-)**

**Ha ha.**

**im kidding, james and lily just fight a little.**

**dont worry, they'll get along again:-)**

**DISCLAIMER:still do not own any thing from HP.**

**please review!;-P  
**

_Chapter 8: Christmas letters_

_The day after the Christmas ball I woke up early, it was a Saturday and a lot of kids were leaving for home, including me. I was happy to see mum and dad again, not so happy to see Petunia again, and sad not to see Alice, Nessa, Amos, Sirius and James for a while. James. I needed to go talk to him. Soon. I got out of bed and got dressed._

"_Oh, Lily, you have to write to me, okay?" Alice was already saying goodbye, although we still had the entire drive back to Kings Cross. Nessa was staying here in Hogwarts. She wasn't very happy about it. _

_It was 5am now. The train would arrive at 6.30 and we still had to have breakfast. The three of us made our way downstairs, and all the way to the great hall, I had to tell them all about last night. With Amos and everything. The fact that James had almost punched him, I minored a bit . In the great hall, we sat down at our usual seats, beside the Marauders. Usually, I sat beside James and Alice who sat beside Frank. On the other side of the table, were Peter beside Remus beside Sirius beside Nessa.(Wow, talk about complicated.) To my surprise, Sirius and Nessa had become quite good friends. Well, they were a bit the point.  
_

_Anyway, today, I sat beside Sirius, making Nessa sit beside James. It was very quiet at the table today. James had probably told his friends about yesterdays incident. Or maybe it was just the fact, that everyone was immensely tired. After half hour, almost everyone was ready to go. McGonnagal announced, that we would be leaving for Hogsmeade in 10 minutes. I took this as a chance to talk to James alone. I got up, all my friends staring at me._

"_James?" He looked at me with an expression on his face, I could not read._

"_Could I talk to you for a sec?" He got up and together we walked into the entrance hall. I noticed Amos at the Hufflepuff table eyeing us carefully. In the entrance hall, I stopped._

"_James, look, I'm sorry bout yesterday, but…" _

"_Save it, ok?" He interrupted me._

"_What?" I asked confused. _

"_I didn't lie about what I saw. He was snogging another girl. I was worried about you. I do care about you, you know? You're my best friend. I would've never thought, you would believe some jerk you hardly know more than me. He's an arse. He just goes around snogging every girl that walks his way. I think, I do know him better than you do."_

"_Ok, first of all, don't you dare call my boyfriend an arse. And secondly, who's the one that goes around and snogs every single girl that walks by?! You're the number 1 heart breaker at this school. Every single girl falls for you and you take advantage of that. And I'm just known as James Potters friend. Nice best friend I got there. Don't you want me to be happy? To have a boyfriend for once? " I was a little out of breath, my voice was getting louder.  
_

"_This is so pathetic. What do you think is so great about Diggory anyway? You don't know anything about him. And yet, you trust him more than me! Why the hell should I be lying about what I saw?" I didn't really know myself. _

"_I dunno. __Maybe you just don't want me to be dating Amos, you never really liked him at all."_

"_And you wanna know why? Because he's a big twat!" He threw his hands in the air to emphasize his outraging._

_I didn't know what to say anymore._

"_And you are just as daffy if you actually want to date him!" That was deep. He had never called me daffy or silly or anything near that. He had never yet insulted me for real. I felt the tears come up in my eyes, but I held them back. Without saying another word I went back into the hall. He followed me. I sat back down beside Sirius, who gave me a curious glance. 5 minutes later we had to get our trunks down and get ready to leave. _

_At 6 o'clock we were in the carriages on the way to Hogsmeade. Still no one said a word. Then, Sirius finally cut the tension by hexing Peters book into a rat which caused a lot of screaming to go off in our carriage. After that everyone started talking amatively. We arrived at Hogsmeade station shortly later and got onto the Hogwarts Express. We sat in one compartment together, even though I had refused first. I was totally absent-minded throughout the drive, until someone knocked on the door. It was Amos. Suddenly everything was quiet again and they all looked at me, shooting glances to James once in a while. I got up in this awkward situation, just to see James looking out the window, clearly disappointed._

_In the corridor, Amos began kissing me wildly straight away. When he broke away, he said "goodbye, Lily, I'll see you in the new year." Then he left. I wiped my lips once. Not that it was disgusting or anything, but he did nothing but kiss. _

_In the evening we arrived in London at Kings Cross. I got out of the train pulling my trunk behind me and started saying goodbye to everyone. _

"_Oh, Alice, I'll miss you so much! Send me an owl, remember, not like in the summer holidays- I do not own an owl." She hugged me and ran off to her parents._

"_Bye Remus." I then said, turning to him and giving him a quick hug. He, too, left. I just waved to Peter, we weren't really close._

"_Sirius, I'll miss you." We too hugged, longer than with Remus, as I was closer to him._

"_Miss you too Evans." He stepped back, leaving me face to face with James._

"_Bye James." I murmured and waved before I turned and left._

_I could hardly hear the "Bye Lily.", but he had definitely said it._

_I was lying on my bed, a piece of parchment and a pen in my hand. It Christmas eve and I was gonna send away Christmas cards to my friends with Alice' owl, Scooby. Dinner would be starting soon, and mum did not like it, when I was late for her turkey dinner. The first letter I wrote was to Alice._

Dear Alice,

I wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year. Thanks for lending me Scooby, he's great. I really miss you and cant wait to go back to Hogwarts. Oh and did you know, that Petunia is engaged? I know I was shocked too. That Dursley guy is even coming to dinner tonight. Talk about awkward conversations. I cant wait:-(. Send lots of love to your parents from me and also your sister. xoxo

Love Lily

_Yep, that would do. Okay, next was Nessa. I pretty much wrote the same. With Amos and Remus and Peter too. Sirius I wrote a bit more, I told him about my awesome prank I was planning to do on Dursley. I was going to put water balloons in his stool by magic(aha__)and then make them burst(also by magic, aha__)so he'd be all wet. I asked him, what to do after that so the jokes complete. Then I put a "love Lily" under it and it was ready to go. Alright next was…James. Yeah, I'd been wondering what to write in that letter. Not just a merry Christmas, something more. So I just started writing._

Dear James,

I am truly sorry about what I said to you the other day. And I want to believe you, but Amos is my boyfriend and I do trust him. And, let's face it, it was dark outside and you were affected by a hot snog.:-)_i used the same sentence he had told me before the christmas ball in the snow.  
_

it could've been any boy out there.

All I want to say/write is that I hate you not talking(/writing) to me.

I also wish you a merry Christmas with your family and Sirius and have a happy new year. I really do miss you.

Love Lily

_I read through the letter again._

_Then I put all the letters into an envelope and attached them to Scooby. I let him fly, then made my way down to dinner._

_This really sucked. It was Christmas day and thanks to James, I felt all down. I hadn't enjoyed my presents at all, not that they weren't great, I was just rather sad. Petunia was trying on a golden necklace she had got, mum and dad were giving each other presents so I snuck out of the sitting room and up into my bedroom. When I got in, I was surprised that 4 owls were knocking on my window. I opened it and let them in. one of them was Scooby. I took off his letter first and opened it:_

Dear Lily,

I also wish you a very merry Christmas and a beautiful new year. I got you a little something too. My cousin showed me how to do it(now you probably know, it is something knitted) I do hope you like it. My sister says thanks and wishes you a merry Christmas too. So do my parents. Maybe you'll be able to come around to us once. Write back, please.

Alice

I looked into the little sac hung to the letter. I opened it and it was a little handbag, white-silvery. On the front was a picture of me and Alice at the end of our first year, when I had visited her in the summer holidays. We had our arms around each others backs and smiled goofily into the camera. A little note was attached to it:

Hope you like it.

Reminds us of the good old days

Alice

Aw, how sweet. The bad thing was, that I had to buy her a gift too and right now, I was completely broke. I opened the next letter attached to an owl I didn't know.

Lily,

Wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year.

Hope you got great holidays.

Remus

Thanks, Remus. I think, I was gonna hang all these cards up, coz this is so sweet. This time last year, no one except for Alice and Ness wrote to me.

_I opened the next letter from Nessa's owl._

Hi Lily,

I'm having a terrible time. Hardly anyone is staying in Hogwarts for the holidays, John Patil is one of them He keeps bugging me. Grr. He's weird. I damn my parents for wanting a vacation for themselves for once. Think about what they're doing, it's…grr. Anyway, enough of my problems, I hope you have a great Christmas with your family. Sorry I didn't get you a gift, just don't have the money right now

So, merry x-mas and happy new year.

Nessa ( I decided to put the smiley there, coz other whys this letter might seem like I'm depressed, which I'm not.)

_It was always good to read Nessa's letters, they just lighten you up. I took off the next letter, another owl I did not know._

Hey Lils,

MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

I miss you too and I can't wait to get back to Hogwarts, and about that prank, if you're reading this, it's probably too late, but I'll tell ya what I'd do anyway. You gotta levitate him in the air so that he freaks out. While he keeps flying higher and higher a little stink-bomb explodes every time with a loud "pop". Then, you let him down slowly, and he'll think everything's alright, and then, when his feet hit the ground, everything explodes, he'll be all wet and stink terribly. That would be so awesome.

Okay, so let me hear from ya, see you soon, Sirius.

This next part is from Prongs, starting, now:

Hey Lil,

I miss you too. And I don't want to be childish or anything when I'm not talking to you, but I solemnly swear, it was Diggory outside with Parkinson. I miss us talking/writing too, and I just want you to know, I also didn't mean most of the things I said to you. The sad thing is, you don't believe I'm telling the truth about your boyfriend, and the only reason I told you, is because I don't want you to get hurt. He's just using you, and you know it yourself, all you do is snog. He may not seem like that kinda guy, but he is.

Anyway, merry Christmas to you and your family too.

Write back as soon as you can, James.

_I sighed. I don't know, how long I sat there, staring at this letter. _

_Now, I couldn't decide, what to do._

_Amos was my boyfriend, and we did snog quite a lot, but I do like him. A tall Quidditch player, smart, handsome. See, I do know stuff about him._

_And then there's James. He was my best friend. I cared about him too, of course. But I honestly did not know what to do. _

**this will probably be the last chapter i post before christmas hols are over.**

**goin back to school tomorrow:-( Getting a lot of tests back.:-(**

***sighs***

**Anyway, hope u liked the chapter, next one will be up soon too:-)**

**lilylou101:-P  
**


	9. not so happy birthday

**this is chapter 9, yeeaahhh!!**

**my longest chapter yet.**

**id really appreciate it if any of you guys could maybe give me some ideas for the next chapters...**

**to make it all a bit more interesting...**

**pleeeaaase give me a few tips, coz i got nothin**

**okay, so i hope you like it**

**DISCLAIMER: dont own characters, dont own story title  
**

_The holidays came and went and the next thing I knew, I was once again standing at kings cross. I had already said goodbye to my parents, Petunia hadn't come with me this time. I was already standing at platform 9¾ . I entered the train and looked everywhere to find someone I might know. Then in one compartment, I saw the Marauders playing exploding snap. They noticed me and one by one got up to hug me._

"_Lil, great to see ya. C'mon in." Sirius took my arm and pulled me in before giving me a big hug. Then Remus hugged me, Peter I once again just waved to. I looked at James. He smiled. It was so good to see him smile at me again. He got up and hugged me. We stayed like that for a long time, until Sirius got impatient. _

"_Come on, people, hugging is over now. Prongs, mate come here. Evans c'mon and play with us."_

"_I'd rather not…" I wasn't a great fan of exploding snap, but they didn't care what I said, but just pulled me on a seat beside them. _

_Alice came in later on and we just had to gossip about Petunia and Dursley._

_At about 7pm we arrived at Hogwarts. We listened to Dumbledore's speech and were glad when he finally let us go to bed, as we were all wrecked. _

_The next day I got up early and went down to breakfast. There weren't a lot of people there as usual._

_I sat beside James._

_We didn't talk as much as we used to, maybe because Amos was sitting at the Hufflepuff table and both of them were sending each other death glares._

"_James?" I asked quietly. _

"_Hm?"_

"_Are you okay…with Amos and me dating." He thought for a while._

"_No. Not really. But it's not fair to you if I'd get between you. It's hard to see you together when I know he's only pretending, but it's your choice to make, who you wanna believe. I'm okay with that." I chuckled once and then he chuckled and then we both laughed our asses off, which caught us some glares from other students._

"_Oh, Lil, I got you something too."_

"_What you mean?" I was confused._

"_For Christmas. Sorry it's a little late, but I wanted to give it to you personally." He pulled out a little box._

"_Okay, close your eyes."_

"_Why do I have to close my…"_

"_Just do it, would you?" I did as I was told._

_He took my wrist and put something around it. _

"_OK, open." He was clearly getting impatient, so I opened them quickly._

_There at my wrist was hanging a bracelet, silver. I took it in my hand. It had a little hanger on it. It was a circle. Quite simple but beautiful. And you could open it. Inside, was a picture of James and me , in the autumn some time outside, us sitting in the tree, laughing and pretending to push each other down. The picture was black and white and it looked like it was welded in the bracelet, like it was one thing._

"_Wow, James it's beautiful. Thanks. I didn't get you anything. Sorry."_

"_Don't matter." He was eyeing Amos again._

"_Lily, I think your boyfriend wants to 'talk ' to you, so I'm just gonna leave." He put air quotes around the talking._

"_Wait, don…" But he was already gone. Instead Amos was standing in front of me now._

"_Hey, Lily." He sat down beside me and took me in the arms._

"_Nice to see you." I nodded._

"_You too." He started kissing me. I was aware of Dumbledore and a few other professors staring at us._

"_Stop it." I murmured against the kiss, but that just made him want more. He laughed and deepened the kiss. I instead pulled away completely. _

"_Amos, Dumbledore is watching us." I whispered._

"_Oh, well, I'll catch you later then. See you , babe." Babe? Had he just called me babe? Oh my gosh. And once again he walked away just because we couldn't kiss. I watched him walk away. Okay. So I guess I'd be having breakfast alone then. Boys are such gits. _

_The rest of the month went pretty much like that. When Amos came , James would leave and Amos would do nothing but snog me. When James came Amos would leave and James and I would do all kinds of goofy stuff. _

_Then, one morning, I woke up, and guess what, oh yeah, it was me birthday! Today I was officially an adult! I slowly opened my curtains and almost choked of shock as Nessa and Alice screamed :"HAPPY 17__TH__ LILY!" into my ear. They both hugged me and congratulated me. Alice got out something. _

"_Here, unwrap it." I did so and in it were gloves._

"_D'you like them? I knitted them myself. It has your name on it at the sides." _

"_Thank you so much, Alice, you're the best." I hugged her again._

"_I got a present too." Nessa got out hers proudly. I was very proud of her too, as she never bought presents, coz she hardly ever had the money. I unwrapped that one too. It was a photo album. _

"_Oh, thanks, Nessa." She knew how much I loved to take pictures, I always said to hold on to your greatest moments. The best way to do that are pictures._

"_Your welcome." Luckily, it was a Saturday, which meant no classes. I got dressed and went down to the common room. _

"_Hey, look, here's the birthday girl." Sirius came over to me and congratulated me, as did Remus and Peter, Frank and James. "Happy 17__th__ " James whispered in my ear. I smiled smugly at him._

"_You are aware that I am now an adult, whereas you are still a child." I whispered back. The others were singing happy birthday. A few of James' friends had joined in, although I hardly knew them. Also a few girls, but they probably only did that because they wanted to be close to Sirius or James._

_He laughed. _

"_I'll be 17 in less than 2 months."_

"_I'm still older than you." I said, gleefully, I had won._

_He nodded, chuckling._

"_Sure." He just said. _

_Down in the great hall, while goofing around with the others at breakfast, Amos came to me._

"_Happy birthday, Lily." He said pulling me up and hugging me. _

"_I got your gift outside." Outside? Well, okay. We walked outside into the still chilly air, hand in hand. Then he just stopped._

"_Here's your gift." He said, pressing his lips hard on mine. Ok, mister, this is so not a gift. This were special, if you didn't do it every day, but you do do it every bloody day._

"_Let's go back inside." He suggested after we'd broken apart. I spared my breath to tell him or accuse him of anything. _

_So we walked back in. He went to his friends and I sat down with the guys._

"_So what'd he get you?" Sirius sounded curious. But I wasn't going to tell them._

"_Oh, just…nothing, really…" They didn't mention that topic anymore after that._

"_Oh and Lil, there's a party tonight in Gryffindor common room. Your party." Sirius informed me after breakfast._

"_My party?" How was I supposed to organize a party?_

"_Oh, no, Prongs and I are planning everything, I just mean its for your birthday." Oh, yay, I was having a birthday party._

"_Yay, I can't wait." _

"_So it'll start at bout 8, we'd start later. But McGonnagal'll probably make us all go to bed at 12 or earlier which is so lame, so we might as well start early too." I was quite excited for this evening._

"_Lily, come on, it's nearly 8, get a move on." Alice always had to be on time. Perfectionist. _

"_I'm coming, I'm coming. Gosh, relax." I came out of the bathroom._

_Alice looked at my artless outfit, disappointed. She didn't say anything though. We climbed down the stairs and into the common room. Everyone out of Gryffindor was there, I think, and everyone screamed:" HAPPY BIRTHDAY" . it was obvious that Sirius and James had been the master-minds behind this party, other why's no one would've come. Music started playing and the people started dancing. They had probably stolen the tons of food from the kitchens. At the beginning of the party I hung out with Alice and Nessa and James and Sirius. But one by one they started dancing with other kids. Alice with Frank and his friends, Nessa with some hot guys, I did not know, and Sirius and James with hot girls. At about half nine, I was standing by the food, eating, alone again. Amos hadn't come, coz he was a Hufflepuff._

"_Having fun?" James was suddenly beside me and yelled into my ear, to drown the loud music._

"_Yes." I yelled back. He stuffed food into his mouth. A girl came over to him and smiled at him flirtingly, and stood beside him. He looked over to her, probably liking what he saw, she was very pretty. And…hot. Kinda. _

"_I'm Caitlin Brooks." She introduced herself._

"_James Potter."_

_Caitlin looked very nervous around him. Not all the girls were confident enough to talk to him. She took a drink and a sip, more nervous by him watching her. It was kinda fun to watch girls trying to flirt with James._

"_Wanna dance?" James said. She looked surprised by his question. _

"_Er…sure." So James was off again too, but Sirius came running to me instead._

"_Hey, Lil, we're out of food, I'm gonna go down to the kitchens to get some more, kay?" _

"_No, no, you guys have done enough already, it's my party so I'll get the food." I hesitated. "Do I have to sneak into the kitchens for that?" He laughed at me._

"_It's not sneaking in. Technically. Those elves will be thrilled to see you. You'll get anything you want." Before I could ask any more, he was dancing with another girl._

_So I set off._

_I walked down the dark corridors, a little scared. I wasn't sure, I was going the right way, but went on anyway. Suddenly, I heard noises. Groaning. Goodness, what was that? I looked around. No one there. I didn't dare move. I was scared. And then the noises again. Not very loud. I turned, to notice it was coming from the broom closet a few feet away. I stepped forward and opened it. I almost collapsed by what I saw. First I couldn't move, I was paralyzed. And shocked. And sad. And angry. In that broom closet was standing Amos Diggory with … some girl I didn't know. Snogging. They stopped and turned towards me. They, too, looked shocked. Amos was the first to speak._

"_Look, babe, it's not what it looks like…" He began, but I butted in._

"_Not what it looks like, ah? To me it looks like you snog every girl that walks your way. I cannot believe I fell for your lame act. This was all just pretend to you, eh? And James was right. And I stood up for you. You're a real jerk! Oh, and just so we're clear, I'm breaking up with you, kay?" I ran away. What a great birthday. I didn't know exactly where I was running, but sometime, I just collapsed in a hallway, I fell on the floor, sobbing my heart out. I should've seen it coming. I had fooled myself badly. And I had almost ruined what I had with James. He had told the truth. I was so dumb. How could I have been so dumb? I knew, Amos and I didn't have much chemistry, but maybe that's why it hurt so much. That it had meant absolutely nothing to him. Nothing. I had meant nothing to him. He had used me. James had told the truth and I had accused him of lying. I cried for several minutes, hours maybe. Then, I heard footsteps. Maybe it was a teacher. I didn't care, and didn't bother to get up, but just cuddled up into a ball on the floor. _

"_Lily? What are you doing?" It was James voice, but I didn't want to answer, tell him Amos was an ass and he was right._

_His arms were suddenly wrapped around me, he sat beside me on the floor. I put my head on his lap and cried even harder. He stroked my head._

"_What's wrong, Lily flower?" He whispered in my ear._

_I decided to answer, but my voice was shaky._

"_I…saw…Amos and…*sniff* some *sniff* girl…snogging in…*sniff* …broom closet…" It made me cry even harder. I expected to hear an "I told you so" but it didn't come._

"_Why aren't you saying it?" I asked with a tearful voice._

"_Saying what?"_

"_I told you so?" I cried._

"_I think we both know I was right now, I don't have to rub it in now, do I ?" He kept stroking my head._

"_I have been fooling myself. I guess I knew you were right all along, I just didn't want it to be true. I guess, I just hoped him to be everything I wanted, the guy of my dreams, you know what I mean?"_

"_He didn't deserve you anyway, Lils."_

"_I know, but it doesn't ease the pain. It makes me feel unwanted, unimportant and…like, no one cares about me. He didn't care about me." I sobbed into his shirt._

"_I care about you. Sirius and Alice care about you. Don't think you're unimportant. You're not. Believe me." He took my face in his hands and wiped my tears away. _

"_Look me in the eye." I did as I was told. _

"_Forget him. We can have fun together, just the two of us. It'll be okay. Don't worry." He kissed my forehead._

"_Thanks, James." I said and cuddled up to his chest. _

"_Come on, we should get back, it's getting pretty late, Sirius was getting kinda worried." He helped me up and together we walked back to the common room. The party was still going on. I checked my watch, it was 11. McGonnagal would come soon. Sirius saw me and rushed over._

"_Lils, you okay?" He looked at me anxious. I felt tears come up again, so just nodded._

"_I'm really tired, so…I'm just gonna go to bed." I told them with a shaky voice. As I climbed up the girls staircase, I could hear Remus whisper:" What happened?" ._

_in my dorm, I fell on my bed and fell asleep almost immediately. Wasn't that a fun birthday, though?_

**Aww...**

**poor fellow...**

**i honestly do not know how to continue this story, im begging you, im on my knees, pleease help me out here!!!**

**u can give me tips on the story board or characters, relationships, or some funny scenes, as i have absolutely no sense of humor...**

**PLEASE!**

**thanks:-)**

**lilylou  
**


	10. no chapter,still keep reaading please!

**oka,this isnt a chapter, but i wanted to ask you guys for help.**

**im not sure how to continue, im thinking about making Nessa and Sirius fall in love...**

**but a whole chapter bout them...**

**dunno if u guys would like that.**

**what should i add to make Lily and James' friendship more...exciting??**

**am i spposd to write more bout Alice and Nessa and The marauders?**

**Will i write about Valentines day?**

**And James birthday?**

**What else?**

**plz help me, please!!**

**Oky, so u can tell me ur ideas in reiews, i wont b able to write for a while anyway, getting two Ds in my report.:-(**

**so if u added ur ideas id be very very(!!) glad,**

**thnx lots**

**lilylou  
**


	11. valentines day

**hey.**

**took a long time to write this and im still not satisfied.**

**its like somethings missing...**

**thanks a lot to pwg7hogwarts for reviewing.**

**should i stop writing in italicise?**

**i'll try it out anyway in the next chap.**

**so, like i said, not my best chapter,but please keep reading.**

**DISCLAIMER:i am not j.. so i do not own harry potter.  
**

"_Am I suppose to ask out Anthony Creevey again? I went to the Christmas ball with him already. Or would he get the wrong idea? I'm not into him or anything. Or am I suppose to ask out Dennis Brown? But maybe that'd be weird, we know each other so well coz of Quidditch._

_Hm…" I was listening to Nessa think about who she was gonna ask out to Hogsmeade tomorrow, for Valentines day._

_Yeah, it was girls choice._

_Blah._

_Puke._

_Did not want to think about flowers and dates and cuddling couples right now._

_Makes me sick._

_Now, Amos see what you did to me, you made me hate Valentines day._

_Good job._

"_Nessa, honestly, I couldn't care less." I told her._

_Alice was in Muggle studies right now, Ness and I had a free period._

"_Great support I get there from my supposedly best friend."_

_We walked down the yard together._

"_Ness, I am a victim of a tragic break-up. Take it easy on me."_

_And right on time, Amos walked past us, hand in hand with his new girlfriend whatever's-her-name._

_I tried to glare at him, but failed miserably when I saw his deep blue eyes, untroubled and inculpable. He on the other hand ignored me completely._

_I stared after him, open-mouthed, how could he forget about me that easily?_

"_Forget him, he's a scumbag." Ness told me. I walked on._

"_Seriously, you gotta forget him. You're still bemoaning the loss of him. I see it in your eyes. Here, repeat after me:_

_Amos is a damn asshole, Amos is a damn asshole, Amos is a damn ass…"_

"_Ness. You're not really helping." _

"_Sorry?" She patted my back._

"_Hey, lets go back to the common room." She suggested._

_I nodded._

"_Hey, Ness, you know, if you're not sure who to go with tomorrow, we can go. Us two. No, Alice and Frank can come too. We can have fun together, right?"_

"_Yeah, that's great. But I bet some guy will ask you out anyway so…"_

"_You'll miss going on a date, wont you?"_

"_What I don't do for my friends…Come on." We walked into Gryffindor common room. We walked over to Sirius, James and Remus.(Peter was in muggle studies too. (__**A/N: I don't really like writing about Peter, he can be so boring…**__)_

"_Hey girls." Sirius called._

"_Hey" We both said._

"_Who're you going to Hogsmeade tomorrow?" James asked._

"_We were planning to go together, just us girls." I answered, I wanted to move on to some other topic._

"_No dates?" He sounded disappointed._

"_James, shut it, Lily's still not over …him." Ness whispered to him, I could of course still hear it. _

"_I guess you two are taken already. No girl could resist two guys so sensitive." She taunted jokingly._

"_Well I'm going with Amy…"_

"_It's Susan." James corrected Sirius._

"_Susan, I meant, of course, right, she's a …erm…"_

"_Ravenclaw." James helped out again._

"_Exactly."_

"_Wow, you really know a lot about your date, Sirius." I laughed. So typical Sirius. _

"_Who're you going with, James?" Ness asked._

_Eurgh, I really don't want to talk about Valentines anymore._

"_Caitlin Brooks. I met her at Lily's party last month. Cute girl."_

"_Okay, could we please stop talking bout Valentines day and …dates and…stuff." I thought about Amos giving whatever's-her-name flowers and kissing her…_

_why was I still not over him?_

_I wasn't that much in love with him!_

_He had just hurt me so badly._

_He had been my first real boyfriend, so…_

_That's normal._

_Now, stop thinking about him Lily, I forbid you._

_Really._

_Stop._

"_WHAT?!" I yelled outraged._

"_Okay, relax, Lils, please don't kill me." I cannot believe Nessa._

_She is a right little bitch!_

_How could she let me down like that?_

"_Ness, you promised me we'd go together! Why'd you not tell me you're going with Dennis now?"_

"_I only got the courage to ask him out last night at training, I forgot to tell you, which is why I told you now!" Nice excuse._

"_Ness, now I don't have a date and its Valentines day. Do you know how it sucks to be one of the only one's left in whole Hogwarts without a date and no , Alice, I will not ask out John Patil, he's a rotten dork!" Alice sat on the bed, upset, so was Nessa, scared of me, damn right, she was._

_And you better be, Nessa!_

"_I'm gonna have to stay here as the only one together with Dumbledore! Nice work!" I moaned._

"_Well…I bet Dumbledore's great company!" I made an attempt to punch Ness for her statement._

"_Okay wrong thing to say" She said, before I could cause any physical damage to her._

_I moaned the whole way down to the entrance hall, where people were waiting for their dates already._

_Alice disappeared to see Frank._

_I didn't speak to Nessa, but only slapped her._

"_Okay, Lils, listen. How bout you come with us to Hogsmeade." She said, very unwillingly._

"_Thanks, but no thanks, uncomfortable conversations are not my thing."_

_I went to Hogsmeade anyway, just to leave Ness and Dennis alone, to go to Honeydukes by myself and buy all the food I could with my money, then stuff my face with chocolate and drink Butter beer at the three Broomsticks. _

_Out of lovesickness._

_A damn thing._

_Just makes you lonely and fat._

"_Lils!" I heard from behind me and turned to see James walk in with Caitlin holding his hand._

"_Hey. Where's your date?" He asked as they sat down beside me._

_I just stared at him._

_He really was not sensitive at all._

"_Don't have one. My boyfriend went off snogging someone else. So I decided to come here alone, better than to sit in my bed all day and cry my eyes out, but it doesn't really matter coz I'm stuffing my face here anyway so fact is that I'll probably die lonely as a fat lady living with her seven-teen cats and be called the crazy-cat-lady and wont have anyone who cares about me and my hair will turn gray and start falling out …" I noticed them staring at me weirdly. My voice had got louder and I was talking crap, so..._

"_But other why's … I'm good. How're you two?" I didn't really care but needed something to talk about._

"_Fine. James has told me so much about you." Caitlin started._

"_Oh really?" I asked looking at the table sounding disinterested. She nodded._

"_Looks like you two are really great friends."_

_Where was she going with this?_

"_Aha." I just said._

_Could they leave?_

_I wasn't in the mood for talking._

"_So…you're just friends?" Okay, really?_

_I'm pissed off enough already you don't have to push it to the limit, woman._

"_Yes. We are. Now leave. Please." I snapped a little rudely at her._

"_So there's nothing going on between you two?" are you deaf? _

"_For the love of god, woman, no! You can have him for yourself, you can snog the shit out of him, because I do not care! I really do not want to sit here and talk to some bitch I don't even know!_

_So, no, there is absolutely nothing going on between me and James I don't know why you're even asking, I had a boyfriend up till a few days ago and its not my fault he's a two-timer…" I don't know what was up with me._

_I was screaming at this girl and I was screaming words, that didn't make sense._

_But I just had to let it out, other than crying._

_Damn Amos damn Amos, damn AMOS!_

"_What?" James asked confused._

_I didn't say that out loud now, did I? _

_Doesn't even matter._

_I'll say it out loud if you want._

"_Damn Amos!" Argh, those words sound so weird._

_Everyone was looking at me in the three Broomsticks now._

_I ran out and made my way back to Hogwarts, at least my anger on Amos was gone now._

_I heard footsteps behind me._

_I didn't care enough to turn around._

_Now a person was walking right beside me._

_James, who else._

"_Hey." Oh, shut up._

_I know I screamed at your date but I really needed to scream at something other than my pillow._

_Yes, I screamed into my pillow sometimes._

_When I was angry._

_No, I don't need psychological help._

"_What do you want?" I sounded a little too harsh._

"_Look, Lils, I know you don't like talking about your break-up with Diggory, but see… its starting to drive you mad."_

_I AM NOT MAD!_

_Right?_

_You tell him!_

_Okay, I am talking to you people who don't even exist…_

_Maybe I am mad…just a little._

"_I really don't want to talk about it James." _

"_It seemed a lot like you did want to talk about it a minute ago."_

"_Where is your date anyway?"_

"_Well…I told her you just broke up with your boyfriend and that I have to be there for you … you know, so you don't go mental." He chuckled._

_Haha._

_Real funny._

"_She kinda…freaked out, saying I …cared more about you than her…and I shouldn't waste my time on her…I don't really know what's up with that girl…"_

_Interesting._

_I actually couldn't care less._

"_Lily, what was Amos favorite color?" What the hell does that have to do with _**anything**_??_

"_Why?" _

"_Just answer my question."_

"_Erm…I dunno, I guess…"_

"_You don't know, exactly. You just fell for his supposedly good looks, although I really don't know what's so handsome about him, and you didn't want to admit that you two had nothing in comment."_

_Yeah, falling for someone's good looks is a crime._

_Kinda why all the girls fell for James and Sirius._

_Look who's talking._

"_I know it now, James."_

"_Then why are you still not over him?"_

"_Because…" I turned to face him._

"_I feel like…something you use for fun and when it's no use anymore, you just throw it away and change it. Like my heart that seemed like it was happy got torn out and told, it was all just an act._

_Its not that much about him, but more about what he did to me, what he took from me. You should know how it feels to get dumped." He looked at me abashed._

"_You don't know how it feels to get dumped? No wonder._

_You never get dumped you always dump don't you?"_

"_Well, you can see it like that…" Jerk._

_I walked faster._

"_Come on Lily you're not talking to me just because no girl ever got the will to break up with me?"_

"_James, normally I don't mind about your stuck-up comments, because I know you usually don't mean it._

_But you don't realize how conceited you sound._

_I don't want to fight, really, but I don't know how you want to be there for me, if you don't even know how I feel."_

"_I do know how you feel, trust me."_

"_Really, you do?" I asked sarcastically. _

" _I do. And…I know how to make you feel better too."_

"_Of course you do." I murmured._

"_Meet me in the Astronomy tower tonight at round…lets say 12-ish."_

"_Why?"_

"_Would you just please do it?" He said impatiently._

"_Kay, fine, if you'll drop it now. You can go back to your date then."_

"_I think she'll be pretty mad but…" He grinned and ran off into the other direction._

**yeah...**

**by now, you all think theyll probably get together soon, but remember, its said they only get together in 7th year.**

**and its only february:-)**

**still 1and a half years to go.**

**but lily will start feeling attracted towards him soon.**

**i'll write a bit more bout nessa and alice and sirius and remus now.**

**if you'd like to give me some tipps on how to improve this story,thatd be great.**

**so please R&R**

**:-)**

**XOXO**

**lilylou:-)  
**


	12. acrophobia and star watching

**hey there!!!!**

**first of all Thanks to XrainbowsX for reviewing!!**

**So, this isnt my best chapter, james is very weird in the end but i couldnt get another ending.**

**its actually very boring, but i promise ill do better in the next chap.**

**then amos will be completely out of the story, she wont still be over him:-)**

**DISCLAIMER:dont own ANYTHING!**

**read and review.**

**PLEEEAAASE!!**

**:-)

* * *

**_Chapter12:_

_I tip-toed out of my bed and through the door. When James had said to meet him at twelve in the Astronomy tower, I hadn't remembered that it meant, breaking the rules and sneaking out._

_I crawled out the portrait hole, and crept down the hall. I hoped I wouldn't get caught or meet Peeves on the way. I ran up the steps quietly, till the astronomy tower. I climbed in, carefully._

"_James?" I whispered, looking around me, it was so dark, I couldn't see a thing._

_Then, suddenly, hands grasped my shoulders. I wanted to shriek but a hand covered my mouth._

_I turned around._

_There stood James, chuckling._

"_James, you scared the shit out of me!" That amused him._

_He pulled me forward and we both sat down on the windowsill and looked out the window. It was very deep. The highest tower in Hogwarts. I closed my eyes. I have already mentioned my phobia against heights, haven't I ? _

"_How do you always turn up so fast. I didn't even see you here."_

_I said, still with closed eyes._

_I could hear him smiling at me and any moment now, he would tell me to open my eyes. He always tried to get rid of my acrophobia._

"_If you open your eyes I'll show you."_

_Did I not tell you?_

"_James, I'm not opening my eyes, you know I'm scared of heights and this is even higher than the time on your broomstick."_

"_Where's your Gryffindor courage?"_

_I seriously don't know, sometimes I think the hat made a mistake and I'm really a Ravenclaw or a Hufflepuff._

"_Come on, open your eyes. I need to show you something."_

_Slowly, real slowly, I opened them._

_I almost fainted when I looked down._

_I felt dizzy._

"_Oooh, god."_

_I tried not to look down._

"_Look here." James said._

_I was glad to be looking at something other than the ground- which was scary wide down- or my legs._

_James had some silvery, shiny material in his hand. _

_He looked at me expectantly._

_That thing seemed familiar._

_And then it hit me._

"_That isn't…an…in-invisibility cloak…is it?"_

_He just smiled._

"_Oh my god! Is that an invisibility cloak?! It is! A real one!_

_The one! The one with…the story and…oh my god!"_

"_You like it?" He boasted and smiled whimsically. _

"_Wow! Where the hell did you get that? And if you tell me you stole it, then…"_

"_I didn't steal nothing, Lils. It belonged to my dad. He inherited it from his dad. And so on. My ancestors were the Peverells."_

"_Wow." I said again._

"_That's how you always get to places so fast with out anyone seeing."_

"_Yeah, well…" He held the cloak in his hands like a baby._

"_So…you dragged me all the way up here, just to show me your invisibility cloak?" I stuck my face between my legs, to avoid looking out the window._

"_That…and this." I didn't look up._

"_I told you, I'd make you feel better. So…"_

_He took my hand._

_It surprised me._

_What was he doing?_

_I took my head out of my legs and stared at our hands, when I saw, he had something in his hand._

"_It's a charm for your bracelet I gave you for Christmas. I figured, jewelry always cheers women up." I chuckled and held out my wrist for him to put it on._

_I looked at it closer now; beside the silver circle was a crystal, also silver, it was as big as my thumb fingernail. I held it into the moonlight, it sparkled._

"_It's beautiful. It must've cost a fortune. I didn't want you to spend money for a gift for no special occasion, James."_

"_Actually…it used to belong to my grand-ma.(_**A/N: I know, a crystal for a charm bracelet, a heirloom of his grandma, all a little like twilight, but…I couldn't think of anything better. sorry.)**_ My mom gave it to me and said to give it to someone I care about. I wouldn't keep it myself and I don't have a sister, so…you're my closest girlfriend. I mean…girl…friend. Not like girlfriend just my friend…as a girl…"_

"_I get it." I laughed._

_It was funny, when he got nervous._

_I closed my eyes again._

"_Lily."_

"_Hm?" _

"_Open your eyes."_

"_James, you have tried to get me _not_ to be afraid of heights a million times, but lets face it. You will never succeed." _

"_Look at the stars. They're so bright."_

"_Nice try. I wont open my eyes. I'll get a heart attack if I look down."_

"_Well, you're not supposed to look down, you're supposed to look _up_. Into the sky. _At the stars_. My whole _point_."_

_His tone stated, he was getting annoyed with me._

_Also very funny: When James gets annoyed or mad._

_Haha._

"_No."_

"Lily"

"No_!"_

"_Pleeaase?"_

"_Stop it."_

"_Stop what?"_

"_Using that 'Please, for me' voice. I don't want to open my bloody eyes."_

"_I told you this a few times already. Don't swear, your mum doesn't want you to."_

"_James. _So_ not the point."_

"_Well…please…for me?"_

"_Ugh! You are _the _peskiest human being I _know!"_ I slowly opened my eyes, just to see, that James wasn't sitting beside me anymore, but standing behind me._

"_Is it really that bad?" _

"_Yes. I wont look out the window."_

_I said grumpily._

_He put both his hands on my shoulders._

"_If you really attempt to fall, I'll hold you tight."_

_He said teasingly. _

"_Haha. Funny."_

"_Somebody's very touchy tonight. Now look at the stars."_

_I did as I was told. I turned my head, and tried desperately not to look down._

_He was right._

_From the tower, you could see the stars more clearly than from any other tower._

_It was beautiful._

"_You feel any better?"_

_I sighed._

"_Yeah…yeah…a little bit."_

"_Some day…you'll look back at this and call Amos an asshole just like me."_

_I laughed._

"_Thanks James. For…everything. You … do know…how to cheer me up. A little."_

_I turned and, playfully, boxed him in the sides._

"_Now…I'm gonna go to bed, there's classes tomorrow. Come on."_

_We walked back to the Common room together._

"_You know why I chose the Astronomy tower? You know, to make you feel better?"_

"_Yes. To scare me. With the huge tower."_

"_No. Actually…when…my dad died…when I was 10…my mum always took me into the park beside our house, you could really sight the stars there. She said, every soul went up there when they died and every soul was a star. And every person had a star that protects them. She said mine was dad._

_She also said…stars have a way to make you feel better._

_They're so bright and beautiful you forget about all your troubles._

_I … hope…" He chuckled nervously._

"_I do hope you feel better…about Diggory. He wasn't worth it."_

"_I know." I was surprised by James' 'speech'._

_He usually didn't talk about his dad._

_Nor did he really talk about feelings._

_I smiled at him before saying:_

"_Thanks. Night, James."_

_I walked towards the girls dorm._

"_Night Lily."_

**like i said, not my best chapter.**

**and itd be gr8 if u guys gave me a few ideas, i could really use some help.**

**so...hope u liked it anyway.**

**ill update soon, promise:-):-):-)**

**:-):-)lilylou:-):-)  
**


	13. Sirius cant be serious,right?

**CHAPTER13!!::**

**hope u njoy it.**

**just a short one.**

**cant wait for the nxt one, where the actual business starts,haha,lol:-)**

**thnnx so much to smallville monster and schnauzerlover for reviewing.**

**every review means so much to me!:-)**

**so, njoy the chap and R&R!  
**

_Chapter13: Sirius cant be serious, right?_

_Today was a nice day._

_I finally paid attention in class again, I ate sufficiently again and could sit with the marauders without having to worry about someone not being okay with it._

_Thanks to James I was over Amos._

_Asshole, asshole, asshole._

_Ha, see?_

"_Morning, Lils. How are you?" Sirius slipped onto the chair beside me in History of Magic._

"_Em…Sirius, we just saw each other at breakfast. What's up?"_

_He was acting very un-Sirius-ly today and the past few days too already._

_Too friendly and too absent-minded and too…not him._

"_I will tell you what's wrong." James slipped on the stool next to Sirius'. _

_He was obviously trying to hide a HUGE grin, because it wasn't working and he just looked extremely goofy with his half grinning half serious face._

"_Sirius has lately discovered …"_

"_If you don't shut up about it, I'll shut your mouth for you."_

_Sirius whispered to James threateningly._

"_Shut up about what?" I was getting interested now._

"_Padfoot, mate, if you're gonna do that … thing, she's gonna find out eventually someday." Now I was confused._

"_What thing? I'm not catching on on this."_

"_Well, Padfoot has…"_

"_seriously, Prongs, she doesn't have to find out about it. I trusted you. I trusted you, you wouldn't abandon me."_

"_Wow, seriously, Serious, you're a drama-queen. Okay, please? I mean its Lily. Come on, she can find out." _

"_Okay, I'm right here why are you talking in the 3rd perspective like I'm invisible? I'm completely lost."_

_James and Sirius exchanged looks._

_Then James leaned to me and put his lips near my ear._

_It gave me a tingly feeling._

_Wait, where'd that come from?_

"_Sirius's got a crush on…"_

"_Don't say it."_

_Sirius warned him._

"_On Nessa."_

"_I told you not to say it." He sounded like a child that didn't get his day-to-day chocolate chipped crunchy cereal._

"_ARE YOU BLOODY KIDDING ME?!" I screamed. A…little too loud._

_Mr. Binns and the whole class stared at me._

_I could see Nessa in the front row._

_I had to hold back a huge grin(now I understand James, I do hope it didn't look like James' grimace though.) _

"_Miss Evans, is there a problem?" He asked disinterested and unenthusiastically. _

"_Oh, pardon me, no, no, there's no problem, not at all, I'm terribly sorry to disturb the class, I didn't mean to. I…you can all…carry on. Sorry."_

_I apologized. _

_Nessa looked at the three of us weirdly and mouthed: what are you doing?_

_And then the strangest thing in the world happened._

_I could not believe my eyes._

_It must've been some kind of illuminating defect._

_Because what I saw was not normal._

_Not in the human race, I would've never, ever, ever thought Sirius would ever turn…RED!_

_He was BLUSHING!!_

_SIRIUS BLACK WAS BLUSHING, because of NESSA COLLINS STARE!_

_And I would never believe I would think this thought but…he must actually like her._

_You know…like really like her._

_And this is Sirius Black we're talking about here._

_Sirius being serious about a girl has never happened before and I thought it would never ever happen._

_Ever._

"_Em…Lily…you wanna snap out of your reverie. Its getting creepy."_

_I stopped looking blankly into space and looked at Sirius._

_I just stared at him open-mouthed._

"_Did you just blush?" I just had to reassure myself._

"_N-no. n-not at…all. Pth. Me. Blushing. Pth. Sirius Black. Blushing? Pth. Pth. Never." He was struggling to find the right words, then threw his head back to throw a few strings of hair out of his face and tried to look cool and nonchalant. _

_It made me laugh._

_After class I wanted to catch up with Nessa and tell her about Sirius, but James stopped me._

"_Hey, look, you know he's got a rep to uphold. And…if you gave him some time…he'd do it … optionally…I hope…how bout we match them up?"_

"_Yep, like that idea." It sounded kinda childish, the last time I'd matched someone up, was in 3rd grade in primary school, my best friend back then, Holly, had had a crush on her neighbor and I had ended up embarrassing her in front of everyone including her parents, by him pushing her into a pond in her back garden at her birthday party, after her following my 'great' plan and acting cool like she didn't care one bit about him, and then kiss him unforeseeably._

_It had worked; he hadn't had a clue._

_Bad thing was, he couldn't stand Holly._

_I sometimes still ask myself, why the hell he still pushed her in to the pond._

_So, my match-making tries never really turned out great._

"_Okay, so I'll catch you later after Quidditch training. See ya in a few." James ran off to get changed for Quidditch and I made my way to the common room._

"_Alice!" I called across the common room, then stalked over to the cozy couch she was sitting on, lip-locked with Frank._

_I sat down beside the two, they didn't even realize I was there._

_I bent my head to Alice' before screaming into her ear._

"_ALICE!" I yelled, making the two of them jump, and Alice almost fall off the couch._

"_Why?" She mouthed at me, rubbing her elbow, she had hit at the couch's edge, where surely a bruise would develop._

"_Alice, I need to talk to you. And Frank. You. Out." I pointed towards the door, with my "don't disagree with me, mister" look on my face and Frank optionally left, knowing I could get outbursts of fury easily, a bad habit I had accustomed myself and copied by Nessa._

"_Okay, so guess what? You will never believe who Sirius has got a crush on. Its Nessa!"_

"_WHAT?!" Alice shrieked and was flooded with laughter almost immediately._

_I told her about the History Of Magic lesson a couple of minutes ago._

"_I cannot believe it! Nessa? You serious? Oh. My. GOD!"_

_She giggled when I told her about James and me wanting to get them two together._

"_I'd love to plan with you guys but Frank is taking me out tonight. But best of luck to you all." We both went up to our dorm, and shortly after, I went over to James' room at the appointed time._

_I opened the door and walked in._

_Just to see James snuggle in bed with a girl._

_Well, alright it was more than just snuggling._

_It was…kissing…and…snuggling…and…more…_

"_Yo! James! Get outta bed!" _

_I threw a cushion from the couch on top of the two lovebirds._

_And almost laughed out loud by the "What the fuck?" look on James' face and the "Oh my" look on Barbie's face. _

"_Er…(*insert nervous chuckle*)" James got out of bed pulling the chick with him._

"_Erm…Lils…this is…Denise…Denise…this is …Lily." _

"_Yah. Interesting. Now, Denise, if you would excuse us…we have a meeting so buzz off." She straightened her hair with her fingers and stalked off giving me a dirty glare for interrupting her snog with James._

_After she left, I sat on the couch and pulled out a piece of paper and pen._

"_So…any ideas bout Nessa and Sirius?" _

"_Er…Lils about Denise, you know…"_

"_I'm not mad or anything." I chuckled._

"_It's just…do you really…have to hop into bed with every single girl you meet?"_

"_I didn't hop into bed with her. Well, I know we were in bed, but, you know, technically, we didn't do…anything…oh come on, she was walking by me in an extremely short skirt after Quidditch practice. I'm just a guy, I get weak."_

"_Well, I know Sirius is exactly like that, always gets down to business straight away. And if he wants to hook up with Nessa, he's got to drop it. Nessa hates people like…well that."_

"_How are we supposed to get Sirius stop being himself. We wont be able to convince him."_

_He had a point._

"_Where is he right now?" _

"_He's sneaking food out of the kitchen. We wanted to invite you girls over for tonight, you know, er, forgot to tell you."_

"_Tonight? What are you planning to do?"_

_I asked wary._

"_The usual. how bout…truth or dare?"_

"_That's it! Get Sirius and Nessa to kiss in truth and dare! She'll realize, there's nothing better on earth than kissing those lips…well, for her, in any case."_

"_Well…doesn't sound like the best plan-sorry(he said when he saw my look) but we can give it a try. Leave the hexes to me."_

_I nodded in agreement. _

"_So…you, Alice, and Nessa come over at round 8. We'll bring some guys. Now…if you'd excuse me…" He got up and made his way to the door._

"_I'm gonna go find Denise and finish our snog, which you rudely interrupted." He waved a "see ya" and I went back to my dorm to inform Alice and Nessa about it._

**so,thats it.**

**wasnt my best chap, but...**

**the nxt one will be better,i promise:-)**

**SO PLZ R&R!!**

**lilylou.:-)  
**


	14. truth of the dare

**HALLELUYA!**

**chapter 14, yeah!**

**plz njoy it and review:-)  
**

_Chapter13:_

"_You're kidding me, right?" Nessa sat on the bed looking at me incredulously._

"_You want me to miss a date with Marcus Longkape to go play 'truth or dare' with the Marauders? You're kidding me, right? Marcus Longkape is, like, the hottest guy at school besides Sirius and James. I've been waiting for him to come around for years." She could be so complicated._

_Really, I was just trying to help her._

_It was for her own good._

"_So…you think Sirius is hot?" I tried changing the subject to something more…lets say personal, for Nessa anyways._

_She stared at me and cocked up an eyebrow._

"_Really, Lils? You're lame at changing the subject."_

"_I'm not changing the subject." I said upset._

"_Oh come _on._ Its for your own good. Please? Hey, here's actually a great idea, why don't you bring Marcus with you?"_

_Maybe she would give in then, and James had said, I should leave the hexes to him, so I don't think, he'd let the coincidence decide whether or not Sirius and Nessa would kiss._

"_Na-ah. I am not taking Marcus Longkape to play a kids game. Honestly, that's just pathetic. Not with Marcus Longkape."_

"_Oh, would you quit calling him by his full name the whole time?"_

"_Marcus Longkape." She stuck out her tongue._

_Like I said, tiring little girl._

"_Maybe you'll get to kiss him…" I started with a sing-song voice._

_I could see that she was considering it now._

_She had that thinking face on, brows furrowed, lips pursed, and staring at her fingernails._

"_Well…I was actually thinking about a bit more than a kiss…"_

"_Oh, ew, Nessa…"_

_She laughed and hit me with a pillow._

"_Just kidding. I'm in. I'll go ask him."_

_She got off the bed and fixed her top(yeah, 'fixed', as in pulling it down so you could really look into her plunging neckline.)and left for Marcus._

_I looked over to Alice, who had watched the scene sullenly._

"_You gotta do better than trick Ness and Sirius with a dumb hex to get them to kiss. I mean, really, that's not gonna get them together."_

"_Why don't you have faith in me?"_

_I didn't really have faith in myself either, but in James._

_He'd get it right._

"_James." I ran up to him, he had a bottle in his hand._

"_So…what'd you do?" _

"_Well, I'll hex the bottle so it will land on either Sirius or Nessa. We'll dare one of them to kiss the other…and bingo." _

_He snapped his fingers while the 'bingo', looking satisfied._

"_if they refuse to do the dare…well, Sirius wont let that happen anyway, so…"_

_We walked into his dorm._

_I looked around me._

_Nessa and Alice were sitting on one of the beds, Alice insulted because she had to cancel her date with Frank, Nessa upset, because Marcus was chatting with Remus instead of her, they seemed to be getting along great._

_She also was upset because he hadn't said anything about her x-tremely short glittery dress. _

_I went over to Sirius(who was talking to Amanda and Natasha-two girls James had brought, the one, a date for him, the other one, a date for Sirius, apparently to make Nessa jealous, I told them it wouldn't work.)_

"_Sirius." I pulled him away from Amanda._

"_Okay, go over to Nessa and tell her she looks sexy in her outfit."_

"_Why?"_

"_because she looks sexy in her outfit, dumb-ass. You want her to like you?"_

"_She likes me."_

"_Yes, but do you want her to really _like_ you?"_

_He frowned, about how right I was._

"_Hey Nessa, how's it going?" I sneaked up to them and hid behind a chest of drawers. _

"_Fine." She looked at her fingernails, not really communicating with him._

_Poor Sirius._

_He looked nervous again._

_And Nessa was grumpy._

_Bad timing._

"_You look really…pretty."_

_He seemed too nervous to say 'sexy' in front of her._

_She looked up at him, surprised._

"_Thanks."_

"_You don't have to sneak up on them, Sirius is a flirt master, he gets every bloody girl." I jumped at James suddenly standing behind me with a hand on my shoulder._

"_Fuck, James, don't scare me!" I whisper screamed at him._

"_You'll ruin their flirt."_

_He chuckled wickedly._

_And I stuck out my tongue._

_I know._

_Wow._

_I cant believe myself how childish I was being, but…_

_But he just pulled me away from them._

"_Eavesdropping is something that could ruin a flirt. Just saying. Now, guys." He yelled through the room._

"_Lets begin, shall we?"_

_Sirius and Nessa and Marcus sat on the floor cross-legged._

_Remus and Peter, Natasha, Amanda, two more girls from Gryffindor I did not know and two lads from Quidditch, I might've met shortly on some occasion._

_James and I sat down too._

"'_llright, so the rules are simple. The bottle lands on you, you choose truth or dare, where you have to answer honestly, respectively, commit the dare. The person who turned the bottle chooses dare slash question. If you refuse to do the dare said person challenges, you will get hit by the bad-bogey-hex."_

_James said that all very fast, like learned off by heart._

_And it was very convincing, I don't think anyone would want to be hit by the bad-bogey-hex, volunteering. _

"'_llright, lets go."_

_James said again, and spun the bottle._

_Every one stared at the bottle, but I could see James getting out his wand inconspicuously._

_And then the bottle stopped on Nessa._

_She looked at James challengingly._

"_Truth or dare?" He asked, and, knowing Nessa she would take the dare._

_She was a little 'daredevil'. _

"_Dare." Do I know my friend or what?_

"_Kay, I dare you to kiss Sirius." She didn't throw a tantrum, like I had expected._

"_Wait, wait, wait…no peck, tongue. At least 5 seconds. Action." James smiled cheekily._

_Nessa glared at him, but got up anyway._

_She leaned down to Sirius who stared at her with open eyes._

_She put her hands in his hair and pressed her lips on his._

_To me, it looked like one-sided kissing first, when Sirius returned it, and I wont go into detail now._

_I'll just say, it was more than five seconds._

_After, what, 15 seconds passionate kissing, they pulled apart, heavy breathing._

_Both looked shocked, and sat on their places quickly._

_I had to smile._

_Those two cute little lovebirds were perfect for each other._

_Nessa spun the bottle._

_It landed on…me._

"_Truth or dare?" she was still out of breath._

"_Dare."_

_Truth was boring._

_They always ask the same questions: Who you got a crush on, or how was your first kiss, like I said: booooring._

"_I dare you to…kiss James." She smiled wickedly, seeking revenge at me, well, actually James._

"_At least 5 seconds, tongue, action." She cocked up her eyebrow at me._

"_O-Okay." I got up and leant down to James._

_It felt weird, about to kiss my best friend._

_I bent down and pressed my lips on his._

_I never knew how soft they were._

_He returned the kiss instantly, my arms driving through his hair._

_His tongue drew little circles on my lips, and I bit his cheekily, before realizing what I just did._

_I grew stiffer._

_The kiss was slow._

_After a while, he pulled away._

_I looked in his eyes, heat rushing in my cheeks._

_I sat down beside him again, only just realizing a few people clapping, which I thought was completely ridiculous._

_The game went on, but I couldn't really think about it._

_I kept thinking about our kiss._

_I didn't want to admit it._

_I mean, come on, its James._

_My best friend._

_But it really had been a wonderful kiss._

_I had lost control completely, as I bit his lip challenging._

_Stupid Lily._

_But his lips were so soft, I didn't have a choice…_

_No, Lily, stop it now._

_Hell._

_Stupid kiss, stupid James, stupid lips…_

_Snap out of it now._

_I slapped myself on the cheek for thinking about it._

"_hem…" James coughed._

"_Lily…why did you slap yourself?" he whispered at me, while Amanda was asked some question._

"_What? I didn't…I … oh, em, oh, nothing. Just … fly. Gotcha." _

_I pressed my hand against my cheek again, imitating to catch a fly._

_Tonight was confusing._

**sooooo......what you think?**

**I'll updtae soon, and ireally do hope u liked it.:-)**

**C U guys soon:-)**

**Lilylou:-)  
**


	15. what detention can get you in

**finally, i updtaed again.**

**i hope this one is better thanthe last one.**

**i also started to write but then it just turned out to be a whole different storyboard than the first chapter15(i deleted).**

**so...yeah, hope you like ti and please pleae review and let me know what you think:-)  
**

_Chapter15:_

"_Hey, Lils."_

_I jumped as I heard James' voice._

"_Ah…oh, James. You. Haha."_

_I chuckled nervously._

_Why was I so nervous since that darn kiss?_

_I should stop. Thinking. About it._

_Now, Lily._

"_Very…jumpy today, are we?"_

_He sat down beside me(we were in McGonnagal's class)._

"_Pth, jumpy? Me? Pth…pth… n-no…"_

_I turned away from him – he was laughing at my even weirder weirdness than usual – and started taking down the notes McGonnagal let her wand write down on the blackboard._

"_No. you're not jumpy. At all. Anyway, you know, my party's next month, and…I was hoping you'd help me organize it?"_

_He looked at me with his puppy dog face._

"_Aw, is little Jamesie finally turning 17? Cute."_

_I bantered him, to distract from my … well, yeah, weirdness the past couple of days since the kiss._

_Ugh, damn kiss._

_I keep thinking about it._

_UGH!_

"_Haha, funny…"_

_He was going to say more, but McGonnagal stared at him, cross._

"_Mr. Potter, would you like to share the conversation you and Ms. Evans just had with the whole class?"_

"_Of course not, Professor McGonnagal."_

_He murmured, but started chatting to me, the instant she turned away._

"_Shut up, James, I don't want to get into trouble!"_

_I whisper-screamed at him._

"_Come on, Lils, she wont notice."_

"_Of course she wont."_

_I answered back sarcastically._

_Now Sirius, who was sitting beside James, turned to us, annoyed._

"_Would you two stop already, you are always bickering."_

"_That says Mr. Most-detention-record-holder of Hogwarts history."_

_James said._

"_I thought we were proud that we won that. _Both_ of us."_

"_Oh, stop it Sirius, James. You'll get us all into trou-"_

"_Ms. Evans, Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, I warned you."_

_McGonnagal started._

"…_ble."_

_I finished._

"_All of you, to me… after this lesson."_

_The rest of the lesson I kept my mouth shut._

_And glared at Sirius and James once in a while._

_After the lesson:_

_The three of us stepped forward to McGonnagal after class._

_She sighed._

"_Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, detention this evening, 6pm, this classroom … ahh…Ms. Evans. I am very disappointed in you. I cannot give you no detention…so…tonight, also 6pm…"_

_She stared at me, the disappointment visible in her face._

_We left the room._

"_Well, there you go, you dufuses. You got me into detention. For the first time. Congratulations!"_

_I snapped at them, upset and walked faster._

_Later that day, just before 6:_

_I walked up to the classroom we had Transfiguration in._

_I took a deep breath and entered._

_James and Sirius were already there, sitting in their chairs like slobs. I was surprised that they were there before me._

_McGonnagal was searching through a pile of papers._

"_Ms. Evans, nice of you to join us."_

_She said without looking up._

_I nodded and sat down, at a separate desk, yeah, like I had forgiven them that they had gotten me into the first detention of my life!_

_McGonnagal handed us some papers we were supposed to copy._

_Well, hell._

_This could be jolly much fun._

_After a while, the lads started chatting._

_I asked myself where they got the nerves to misbehave right in front of McGonnagal's eyes._

_Always when she turned to them, they stared back onto their papers, acting like nothing had happened._

_They got nerve._

_Their conversation shifted to the truth or dare game last Friday._

_Their whispers were loud enough so I could understand them, but I doubted McGonnagal could._

"_Padfoot, man, just ask her out."_

"_I don't wanna ask her out."_

_He sounded like a child again._

"_Why don't you ask your crush out, its harder done than said."_

"_Quiet, boys!"_

_McGonnagal._

_Sirius:" You ask that Angelina chick out you're crushing on."_

_James: "I am not crushing on her."_

_Weirdly enough, and much to my annoyance, hearing 'your crush' and a girls name, gave me a little shove in the sides, and that bloody, dang feeling I got as I kissed James._

_BLOODY KISS!_

_McGonnagal: "I said quiet!"_

_Sirius, after whole 10 quiet seconds: "You are so into her."_

_James, even quieter than before: "Please don't ruin this for me._

_Me, extremely quiet so McGonnagal wouldn't hear: " Would you two shut up already!" _

_McGonnagal: " I SAID QUIET!"_

_Wow, was she mad._

_But before anyone could say another word, the door opened again._

"_Professor McGonnagal?"_

_A girl asked, I didn't know._

"_WHAT IS IT?!"_

_She yelled at her, the girl was probably only a 2nd grader, and looked like she would start sobbing any minute._

"_Em…Professor Dumbledore sent me to get Lily Evans."_

_McGonnagal's expression softened._

"_Of course, Melissa."_

_She told the girl._

_Then she turned to me._

"_You may go, Ms. Evans."_

_I got up reluctantly, asking myself what I'd done to be sent to Dumbledore._

_I left the room quickly, and rushed to the portrait hole that led to Dumbledore's office._

_It opened on its own, and Dumbledore stepped out._

_With his always – existing smile on his face._

"_Ms. Evans, may I talk to you for just a moment?"_

_He asked and pushed me into the portrait hole._

_We entered his office and I sat down on a chair._

_He sighed._

"_I just got a letter off your mum…"_

_He started and I wondered why my mum would write _him_ a letter._

_She usually avoided contact with anyone besides me in the magical world._

_He sighed again._

"_She told me…to tell you…that…your dad…has been in a … car accident, she wrote."_

_He stopped and looked at me._

"_W – What happened? Is he okay? Is my dad okay?"_

_I asked, scared of his answer._

_He waited a while before answering._

"_I am sorry. I am afraid, he didn't survive the accident."_

_That was all he said._

_My eyes widened in horror._

"_W-What? N-No. No, that's not true, he…he cant be …"_

_I couldn't make myself say that word._

"_Your kidding me, right? Tell me that you're joking!"_

_I yelled._

_He didn't answer._

_But just let me assimilate what he had just told me._

_I wondered why my mum didn't tell me in person._

_Maybe she was scared as well._

_I felt tears run down my cheeks._

_But I didn't wipe them away._

_Then, all of a sudden, I just ran out._

_I know, I was rude, but I couldn't help myself._

_I ran outside, past students I knew, and saw me crying, past McGonnagal's open door, all three of them saw me crying._

_I ran out into the Hogwarts grounds and sat down in an old oak tree._

_I could believe my daddy was…dead._

_It just could not be true._

_I thought about the last time I saw him._

_It was Christmas._

_I thought about him cutting the Christmas turkey, and me offering to help by magic and him answering in his usual tone: "Oh, I am so much better than magic. They can think, we cant do stuff our way, but we can. We sure as hell can. Magic is just a different word for laziness."_

_Yep._

_That was my dad._

_My weird, freakish, awesome, great, loving dad._

_I smiled and cried._

_And smiled at more thoughts and cried again._

_I didn't know for how long I'd been out there, but James suddenly sat down beside me(which meant his detention was over)._

"_Hey, Lils."_

_He said._

_I still didn't wipe my tears away._

"_You okay?"_

_Suddenly my sadness turned into anger._

_I was sick of all these people pretending to care, but they really didn't._

_Like, he didn't even know daddy._

_He wouldn't understand._

"_Why do you care?"_

_I sobbed._

"_Come on, Lils, why shouldn't I care about you?"_

_He chuckled, but stopped, when my expression stayed the same old tear-covered one._

"_Do you…wanna tell me?"_

"_No!"_

_I said._

"_Did you…I dunno, get into trouble for something?"_

"_No, now go away!"_

"_Did I do something?"_

"_James, go away!"_

"_I wont leave you out here in the cold crying your heart out, if I don't even know the reason."_

"_Just go away!"_

_My voice broke, and I started crying again._

"_Come here, Lily-flower. You know, whatever it is what's wrong you can tell me."_

_He said, and – goddamn him – he sounded like my dad._

_So then I screamed._

_He jumped, at my reaction._

_It must look totally pathetic, a girl sitting in a tree, crying, and then, suddenly, letting out an earsplitting yell._

"_Lily, relax."_

_James said, and, the anger problems I have, punched James in the sides._

"_I will not relax, okay? I told you, you just don't get it."_

_I got up and walked away._

_I expected him to stay sitting there, and not talk to me for the next few days, like back then before Christmas, but this time he followed me._

_He didn't say a word, but walked beside me anyway._

_And – bloody hell! – I was lost._

_I didn't know where I was._

_I collapsed in a dark corner of the hallway, and James sank beside me._

_So, I fell into his arms and cried…and cried…and cried…_

**so there you have it.**

**em...could you maybe give me a few ideas ... because im havong another one of those totally annoying writers blocks:-(**

**So, yeah, please review, thnx, luv you lots:-)**

**lilylou:-P  
**


	16. train trip full of emotions

**okay, so this is chapter 16...not the best, but watch out for chapter17, that wont be so...sad...or depressing anymore, lolz:-)**

**okay, so thank you so so much to cia and iloveredshoes for reviewing and giving me these amazing ideas!**

**i hope u guys like this chapter and i didnt do a tooo bad job:-)**

**so...it also isnt the longest chapter, not my best one, not my longest one...next chapter'll be better,i promise.**

**id appreciate you reviewing it:-)**

**okay, so R&R&Enjoy!  
**

_Chapter 16:_

"_Lily. Eat something. Please."_

_James said, pushing the plate of croissants to me._

_I stared at my hands, not moving, not looking up._

"_Come on, Evans, you cant starve yourself to death…"_

_Sirius started but received a slap in the face from Nessa when he realized what he'd said._

"_Lily, you have to eat something. Or say something. Do _something_!"_

_Alice said now, trying to look me in the eye, but I avoided eye contact, continuing to stare into space._

_I caught a glance of all of my friends sharing a concerned look._

"_Lily, it'll be okay. But just eat your food. Please."_

_Remus now said._

_I almost cracked, seeing how much I was concerning my friends, but kept stern._

_I didn't even look up as the morning post came and owls started flying into the great hall, until a letter landed on my lap._

_I looked at it._

_Slowly, very aware of all my friends eyes following every move I made, I opened the letter._

_I recognized my mum's handwriting._

_Dear Lily, _

It said.

_I hope you're okay, darling._

_I am just writing this letter to offer you to come to your fathers funeral if you want to. It is in one week. I already informed your headmaster. Be well, honey._

_Love, mum._

I could see stains of teardrops on the piece of parchment, and swallowed back my own.

_I saw that Alice and James who were sitting beside me, were peeking over my shoulder to take a look at the letter._

_I swallowed._

"_D-does anyone have a pen?"_

_I asked, and noticed, this really was the first time I'd spoken since the day Dumbledore told me about daddy._

_Everyone answered with a 'sure' and 'of course', cramming around in their bags, relieved that I had said a proper sentence again, which proved I hadn't gone completely depressed._

_I took one out of the many hands offering._

_With shaky hands, I scribbled on the back of the parchment:_

_Dear mum,_

_I'll be there with friends if that's okay._

Lily

I folded the letter, putting it back in the envelope and sent the owl off again.

_I tried thinking straight, before I could ask what I wanted to say._

"_G-guys. Could you come with me to my daddy's funeral?"_

_I whispered, looking at my hands again._

_Everyone answered with 'yeses'. _

_I managed a little smile._

_At least my friends could support me then._

_I wouldn't be all alone at home._

_on the Hogwarts Express:_

_Alice, Nessa, Sirius, Remus, Peter, James and I were sitting in the Hogwarts Express, in a compartment, we were all alone in the whole train except for the food cart lady, and two professors, Professor McGonnagal, and Professor Slughorn(they were both in a different compartment), they were just accompanying us on the way here, going back to Hogwarts then._

_The guys kept sharing sentences about stupid stuff like the weather, or something, and then kept looking at me, expecting me to add my opinion._

_Yeah, it wasn't gonna happen._

_After a while, I got up._

"_Hey, I –I gotta go to the loo, I'll be back in a sec."_

_I said, and left the compartment._

_(It was actually kind of funny how there was no one around here at all.)_

_I reached the bathroom, and looked into the mirrors there._

_My reflection scared me._

_I looked tired, rings under my eyes and my eyes red, my face paler than usual._

_I splashed some cold water in my face and put my hair, that was clinging to my face, up into a messy ponytail, before leaving the bathrooms again, colliding with someone._

"_Everything alright, Lil?"_

_James asked me, looking truly worried._

"_Y-yah, yah…"_

_I said, trying to get past him._

_He didn't stop me, but I stopped in my tracks._

"_What the hell…"_

_I murmured, turning back to him._

"_No. No, nothing is alright. I feel completely crappy and empty right now. And I look terrible. And, plus, I'm scared, and don't know how to cope with my daddy not being there when I get home!"_

_I wiped the tears in my eyes away, because right now they were actually getting on my nerves._

_I didn't want to be sad anymore._

_James just embraced me, stroking my back, letting me settle down again._

"_Lil, you…I know its hard. When my dad died…I was in 1__st__ year here at Hogwarts…I was utterly crushed when I found out about him…I didn't know how to handle it…I was, like, almost depressed for a whole 3 months. Didn't talk, didn't eat…"_

_That sounded a lot like me, which scared me a little bit._

"_But…just remember that your dad'll always be with you…kay?"_

_I thought about what he said. _

_He seemed taken aback when I, still hugging him, slapped him on his arm._

_Surprised I showed any kind of emotions at all._

"_Why did you do that now?"_

_He chuckled at me._

"_Because you always…know what to say…ugh…and I was such a jerk to you guys the past few days, totally freaking you out."_

"_Hey. Ever wondered why I was such a jerk to people in 3__rd__ year and 4__th__ year…5__th__ year…"_

_We both chuckled._

_I hugged him tighter, and buried my head in his chest._

"_Thanks, James…you…you do always have the right things to say…and…and you're always there for me."_

_I blushed a little, as this sounded a lot like in a chick flick movie._

"_You're my best friend, Lils."_

_He ruffled up my hair._

"_So…when we get back…we could maybe…concentrate on planning my birthday party…?"_

_He said, sing-songing._

_I knew he was really excited about his 17__th__._

"_Don't worry, Jamesie, I could never forget the day when you'll finally be an adult." I teased him._

"_Come on."_

_He took my hand, stroking it, (I think he was still afraid I might burst out into tears any second now…)and we walked back to our compartment._

_The others looked surprised that I was smiling again, looking so much better._

"_You alright Evans?"_

_Sirius asked me, eyeing the both of us skeptically._

"_Yeah, actually, I'm feeling much better. There's nothing like a cold splash of water to make your head a bit clearer."_

_I sat down, and actually enjoyed myself playing Exploding Snap(trust me, its never happened before), and was happy that I had such great friends._

**gag, i know, its very cheesy...and no, james and lily are NOT going out. yet, lol:-P**

**no really, this isnt the best chapter so if you didnt like dont be too mean, please, but the next chapter will be up soon, this was kinda sorta just a bridge so i could stop writing in that depressed sad Lily perspective, i wanted her to finally get over her dad, so...tis is the best i could do.**

**hope u still enjoyed it and please watch out for the next chapter!!**

**kay, thanks lots, Lilylou:-P**

**:-)  
**


	17. Keeping one waiting makes them go crazy

**Oh my god! I know, I am NOT dead! I just really suck at updating. **

**hERE IS chapter 17 anyway. I wanted to go over it again, but I FELT LIke i Had to update again after about 3 months:)**

**I'm actually quite fond of this chapter, and the next one's too (even though I haven't written them yet - I've just got it all in my head=D) **

**Also, my original chapter 15 I deleted because when I read it through, I just realizedd that it was waaay too early for that to happen. So it will probably come up in the future, or a similar chapter like that:) **

**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed my story so far:_ iloveredshoes_, _sorrow rose_, _id. 'Feenblut' - Elle Tamour_, _mystery muffin_, _cia_, _pottergrl1011_, _beautifuly-healed_, _.annski-x_, _schnauzerlover_, _smallvillemonster123_, _Melora_, _xrainbowsx_, _pwg7hogwarts_, and _cluelessc_! I hope you guys all enjoyed this story so far and enjoy this chapter as well! **

**I also though about changing the story rating to 'T'. What you guys think? **

**Anyway, sorry for being a lousy updater and enjoy!**

**R&R!  
**

_Chapter17:_

_The funeral had gone well, I guess. As well as a funeral could be. It had been on a Sunday in a muggle church and graveyard. I had held a speech, just like Petunia, mum, my grandma, my dads sister, Lily, Nessa and even James, Sirius and Remus, which had been very sweet of them, as they hadn't known dad. Lily and Nessa had stayed at my house over the whole Easter holidays and the guys had gone back home after three days. We had celebrated Easter very quietly, mum had bought Easter eggs ( which she hadn't done for a few years now, but I guess it was to keep her mind off things.) and we had eaten our meal together, Ness and Alice desperately trying to cut the always existent tension in the air, but failing miserably. We were back at school for a week now, leaving me somewhat guilty that I had to leave mum alone – or even worse, alone with Petunia. My friends were still wary with me, that I would break out crying any minute; even though I thought I was over crying, they still did the best they could to constantly do stuff with me, talking nonstop and even trying to make me play Quidditch to distract me. It was really rather amusing. James' birthday party also distracted me, it was really fun, although I didn't want to believe it before. It was way better than my party a few weeks ago, and not just because I didn't find out that my boyfriend was cheating on me. The guys didn't abandon me like back then. Right now, I was dancing with Sirius, a little wildly, to the loud music. We'd been dancing already for 20 minutes straight, when I was very much out of breath, and a little bit tired._

_"Hey, Sirius, I'm gonna get something to drink, I'll be back in a sec." I yelled at him to drown out the music._

_"Sure, I'll keep myself busy!"_

_He yelled back, eyeing some blonde greedily with a smirk on his face._

_"Sure. That way you'll get Nessa to go out with you." I said to him a little quieter, sarcastically, and rolled my eyes as his smirk faded and laughed._

_Then I went over to the food and drink table, to get some Butterbeer._

_"Hey Lils!"_

_A loud voice interrupted my pouring out the drink, and I jumped a little bit._

_"Oh, hi James! You enjoying the party?"_

_"Of course! It is amazing!" the birthday boy answered back enthusiastically._

_"Well, I'm glad that you're finally of age, Jamesie."_

_"Haha"_

_I giggled and he hit my arm playfully. _

_"Hey James, I haven't danced with you yet."_

_I stated, taking a sip of my Butterbeer._

_"Oh, yeah. I'll be back in just a sec, Lil, I just gotta say bye to that girl I was just dancing with but I'll be right back, ju-"_

_"Yeah, yeah, go on."_

_I interrupted, laughing, and made my way over to the couch to wait for him. On my way though, wiggling my way through the mass of people, I bumped into someone, which made me spill my Butterbeer all over my skinny jeans and tank top._

_"Oh, crap, crap, crap."_

_I muttered, looking for my wand to clean my clothes, cursing under my breath. Curse whoever bumped into me._

_"Shit"_

_I mumbled and looked up to see a boy – a Gryffindor – stand in front of me. I think his name was Ephraim Lucas, he had dark brown curly hair, that reached his shoulder, and dark green eyes. He was quite good-looking, but I could see that he was more than a little tipsy already. _

_"Soory."_

_He slurred with a smirk, and I scrunched up my nose in disgust, wanting to make my way past him quickly, but he took the end of my sleeve and pulled me back._

_"Hey, where ya goin', sweetheart?"_

_"Away from you." I couldn't stop myself from saying, and regretted it immediately. Very bad move, Lils. No insulting crazy drunk people. Very. Bad. Move._

_"Aw, let me guess – you don't like alco- *hiccough* -hol."_

_I didn't answer but tried to free myself from his grip._

_"Let me go, please."_

_I tried saying sophisticatedly, looking around to see anyone I knew. No such luck – everyone was too busy dancing and no one even heard us over the loud music._

_"Aw, come on. Have a drink. Juust one."_

_He slurred again, and I scrunched my nose up yet again by his breath smelling of alcohol._

_I glared at him, forgetting to be formal or sophisticated and ripped myself from his grasp and stalked away quickly, too quick for his drunk mind to register properly._

_I set off and sat on a couch again at the back of the room and waited. For anyone to ask me to dance really, until James came back. Fifteen minutes passed. Twenty minutes passed. 23 minutes … 26 minutes … 31- okay, this was getting very annoying. Where the heck was he? I got up and went to look for James, making sure to avoid the drunker part of the common room. I walked on tiptoes to look over other peoples heads, to find a raven-haired boy anywhere. Catching sight of Sirius again, I called him over._

_"Hey, Sirius have you seen James?"_

_He shook his head, a little grin on his face, and I could see that he too was a little tipsy._

_"Nah. But I've been having fun. Have you been having fun, Lils? I've been having lots of fun."_

_"Um, yes. I can … see that."_

_I said, and caught sight of yet another blond girl coming up behind him, jumping onto his back and giggling girlishly. I shook my head and rolled my eyes, and almost laughed at Sirius who looked like he was having the time of his life snogging this girl, and half carrying her around, when I saw Nessa on the other side of the room. A Ravenclaw guy I didn't know was talking to her animatedly, but she didn't even listen, but was glaring right at Sirius and the blond chick. I saw her hands curl up into fists at her side, and I could almost see the steam coming out of her ears. Wow. So Nessa was jealous! That was a very interesting fact. Note to self: Tell James. Another step of 'Mission: Get Sirius B. and Nessa C. together' complete. I smirked to myself and made my way over to her, to ask her about it (which she would most likely deny) when I walked past a little niche in the corner. I thought I saw a mop of black hair there. Backtracking, backtracking … there was James, standing in the little niche, with a girl by his side. I was about to call his name and ask him what was taking so long when the girl talked first._

_"James" She moaned, pouting, "Cant you please stay?"_

_"Zoë, I promised Lily a dance. You and I have been spending tonight together this whole while. I'll meet you later. Okay?" he bent down to kiss her swiftly but she turned her head and pouted again._

_"You're always spending time with that Lily Evans. Why do you do that? She's such an outcast."_

_I saw James stiffen and couldn't move myself, my smirk from a minute ago fading away._

_"Zoë don't talk about her like that." He said in a quiet voice, dangerously._

_"I'm sorry! But its true! I don't know what you see in her!"_

_He sighed, obviously not wanting to fight. And I didn't want to overhear it if they did, but couldn't move yet._

_"She's my best friend, Zo."_

_"But do you have to go to her now? Its your birthday! Have some fun!"_

_She said impatiently, snaking her arms around his neck. He seemed to soften at this, obviously thinking this over._

_"Zo …"_

_"Please? For me?"_

_She asked seductively, coming closer to his face._

_He seemed to give in and smiled a little bit._

_"I guess Lily can wait."_

_He said and closed the distance between them._

_Yeah, I thought bitterly, just like she's waited for the past half hour. I watched them snog, disgusted, and made myself move. Besides disappointment, I felt a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. The same feeling I'd had at the Christmas ball. I bet it was disgust. Yep, it was definitely repulsion towards the snogging. Yep. Definitely. But more than that, I was utterly mad at James. I guess Lily can wait…yeah, I always come second. Stupid, stupid James. I hate him so much. Picks some stupid blondie ditzy chick to snog instead of hanging out with his best friend. Well then again … Sirius was his best friend. What was I? I sighed annoyed. I was only Lily Evans, the nerdy outcast James Potter felt sorry for. Somewhere deep down, I knew that this was not entirely true, and that I was self-pitying myself but I was too mad at James to really notice. Deciding to go back to my dorm, I walked towards the girls staircase slowly and sleepily, when suddenly I bumped into someone the second time this night. And, funnily, it was the same guy. The drunken Gryffindor, Ephraim Lucas. He smirked when he saw me, and this time I didn't wince when he pulled me at my sleeve, bringing me closer to him, and pulling me back somewhere into a little corner where I could see a few of his friends, just as drunk and creepy as he was. I didn't object when he got out a bottle of firewhisky and held it out to me, nor when he pushed me further into the secluded corner and trapped me between him and the wall. I think, I watched them all with a very bored expression. I wasn't in the mood for any kind of games right now, I was too tired and mad._

_"Hey sweetheart."_

_Lucas called unnecessarily loud, though no one even thought about looking over to us._

_One of his friends, Thomas Briggs, continued._

_"Sure ya don't wanna have a drink with us?"_

_He asked with a smirk and hiccoughs, coming closer. Strangely enough, I didn't feel the need to push them away. I thought for a few seconds; what do you see in her … she's such an outcast … I was little Lily Evans, who's never broken a rule before in her life, always doing everything everyone tells her to do. Why not step outside the box? For once, Lily. Letting my anger get the best of me, I took the bottle of firewhiskey from Lucas with a glare, that wasn't directed towards him, but the bottle. I thought about James and the girl, and gulped down a huge sip. Separating my lips from the bottle, my throat started burning, and I winced, but took another sip anyway._

_"Now that's what I'm talking about…"_

_Lucas slurred, and held out another bottle for me to drink, once I was done, and took one for himself as well. Soon enough, I could barely stand. My vision was blurry, and I could hear myself hiccoughing. Soon, I found myself on the dance floor, dancing wildly with someone. Who, I didn't know, probably Lucas, or Briggs. Hands were snaking their way around my waist, moving down my thighs and up again, and I continued drinking. I didn't notice anything around me anymore, just how a pair of hands dragged me into a room and lips were pressed against mine roughly. That's the last thing I remembered._

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